ren > Recent Status Updates

“It’s only women who can’t, who remain stubbornly closed, damaged, defective.”
-204

“‘I know you’re tired,’ she says. ‘I know.’”
271

“I nod. ‘Thanks. Thank you, Anna.’ I feel like I should hug her or squeeze her hand or something, because the truth is she has done a good job and she deserves the recognition. She might even have saved me, if I weren’t so far gone by the time I got here.”
pg 269

“It makes me wonder what makes anybody family. I think that maybe for some people, family is just the people you’re standing next to when awful things happen.”
pg 255

“The point is whether you, yourself, want to die.”
“I don’t know what to else to do.” The truth comes rattling to the surface…I don’t know anymore. I’ve been working so hard to disappear that right now, at this moment, I can’t imagine succeeding. And I can’t image deciding not to. I only know this is way of being, not quite alive, not quite dead. Not quite. “There’s nothing else to do.”
211

Most of all, I miss the biggest thing, the most important enormous thing in the world: that he knew how to love me, and did…didn’t hand out his affection in lean portions…He just loved me, quietly when he could and angrily when he had to. And suddenly I’m so sad that I didn’t underhand this when he was alive. And I want to tell him how sorry I am, but my mouth can’t even form the words.
pg 210

“And when your brother dies, everything is exactly the same. Your father asks you to go to the grocery store and he’s too clueless to see the irony in it. You ask him for cash to buy your binge supplies and then you wander the aisles, wondering how people can buy frozen pizzas and read tabloids in the checkout line when your brother is dead”
pg 206

“If you lol yourself, it will not bring Josh back. It will not make his death any more acceptable. It will not lessen anyone’s grief; it will only compound it. It will not make you feel any less guilty, because you will be dead. It will not make things any better for you, because you will be dead.”
-Shrink pg 198

“The paperweight in Dad’s desk that held everything in place.” pg 178

“I think about asking her to teach me to fold paper like that, but then I think there’s no point in knowing how to do something for just sixteen days.” pg 157.

“I have no choice. For me, the middle ground doesn’t exist. I starve or I stuff myself. I’m blacked-out drunk or pissed-off sober. I worship Josh and I hate myself. I blame Eden and I need her. If I can’t live, then I’ll die. There is no middle—not for me.”

“If Girl A departs sanity around the time her mother abandons her, assuming she is traveling at full speed toward self-destruction, how long will it take her to reach her dead brother?”