christina > Recent Status Updates

We must accept existence as far as ever it is possible. Everything, even the most unheard of things, must be possible in it.

The summer comes all right. But it only comes to the patient, to those who are there as carefree and quiet and immense, as if eternity lay before them.

Paint your sadnesses and your desires, your passing thoughts and your belief in some kind of beauty—paint all that with quiet and modest inward sincerity; and to express yourself use the things that surround you, the pictures of your dreams and the objects of your recollections.

By putting ourselves below everyone, we're building in a self-defense mechanism. Protecting against real engagement. By imagining that no one wants us, that all others are so different from us, we're privileging our own point of view.

You wish your face was more—more, something. You don't know what. Maybe not more. Less. Less flat. Less delicate. More rugged. Your jawline more defined. This face that feels like a mask, that has never felt quite right on you. That reminds you, at odd times, and often after two to four drinks, that you're Asian. You are Asian! Your brain forgets sometimes. But then your face reminds you.

"Average GPA in this room is probably north of three point seven, and now look at them, perfecting to be tough, doing a good job of it, as they do. They're all A students, 'striving immigrants', still hoping for their shot."

i cant watch

she didn't bc du maurier is a coward but honestly wouldn't it be kinda cunt if rachel really did poison him

“Come with me,” she would answer; “it would be very good for you.”

“Not on your life. You can tell me all, at dinner.”

And I would stand in the road and watch the carriage bowl away, while from the window blew the wisp of a handkerchief to taunt me.

I would leave the door of the library open, so that I could hear her step.

wow

from the footnote of my norton critical edition:

Annette's feeling of isolation can be understood by looking at the Jamaican population census of 1844 in which out of 377,433 people only 15,776, or 4%, were identified as white."

oh boohoo there aren't enough of her fellow colonizers around and her former slaves hate her so she's lonely :(

Notes by 1st book club meeting:
- significance of du maurier writing from the male perspective
- ambrose as simultaneous pre-iteration of philip, hardened/less innocent version, and future prophecy
- louise representing the "normal" life
- horror of rachel => increased anxiety about women's newfound independence after ww2, simultaneous attraction to women and fear of "gold digging" behavior / manipulation

"It was useless. Something bubbled in her voice, and I was lost. She saw me laughing, that was the devil of it. I looked away."

The beginning was a little corny but I do admit that I have repented for my early judgement since then im actually gagged

this book is genuinely scary i need to stop reading before bed

the concept of naming the child linton heathcliff my god

the concept of naming the child linton heathcliff my god

"How can one fail to realize that in this vulnerable universe everything that is human and solely human assumes a more vivid meaning? Taut faces, threatened fraternity, such strong and chaste friendship among men—these are the true riches because they are transitory."

begging romance book authors to write minorities outside of the 1 side character with "warm brown skin" and the same sassy/wry but warm personality

"So you pray to God a great deal, Sonia?" he asked her.

Sonia did not speak: he stood beside her waiting for an answer.

"What should I be without God?" she whispered rapidly, forcibly, glancing at him with suddenly flashing eyes, and squeezing his hand.

---

I only know it's the same road, I know that and nothing more.

That discussion about extraordinary men was insanely messed up

"Legal? Yes, it's just legal—business language—not so very uneducated, and not quite educated—business language!"

I can't believe I'm another Dostoevsky stan

starting a support group for people who could barely read the horse scene because they were sobbing their eyes out and cried about it intermittently the entire rest of the day (by people i mean me)