palmer > Recent Status Updates

“Baby, there are flowers out there that smell like straight ass. So sure,
you smell like those flowers.”

peak.... eller noget

punpun pls get a hold of your hormones 🥀💔

punpun :c

holy shit this is so good

"I lift the lipstick and place it on the corner of my lip and draw it out across my cheek, curving it up towards my eyes. Then the other side, until a big red smile is painted across my face.
The Joker had the right idea, I decide".

whyyyy soooo queerioussss

what in the fart-fetish wattpad fanfic.


memorable quotes:
"But at least I can fart without feeling like I’m going to pass out, right?"
(p. 166)

"So, thank you, God, for the small blessings in life and for allowing me to see another day and pass gas properly. A-fucking-men, bitch." (p.167)

"If I pass gas, it’s over." (p. 188)

"I don’t need luck, just the help of four men, who are probably going to be enough pains in my ass that I'll need the hemorrhoid cream next."

EXCUSE ME?????

someone please check H. D. Carlton harddrive.
my guess is 5TB

is reading this considered self harm questionmark

lesbianese

i give up. trying again in a year

Peter is lowkey House-coded. I fear I have to impregnate him.

wait this is kinda cringe💔💔

i hate how much focus there is on the romantic subplot :c

Alice you piss me off

everyone needs to shut the fuck up. wheres the cock

reading this for the funsies.

i want to die

im actually fucking sobbing rn, dont talk to me

can this book be over already???????? gosh

i lowkey dont like this.