abbey walker > Recent Status Updates

“When you love someone, you must give the people he loves credit for being of some value.”

“My mother said the doctor held me by my ankles and announced, “ANOTHER FINE SOLDIER FOR JESUS!” And I say FUCK YOU to those first words said to me!”

Caconrad

“‘Going bad is something that happens over a longer period of time.’
How long a period of time is that?”

“It was not one of those strong, impulsive feelings that can hit two people like an electric shock when they first meet, but something quieter and gentler, like two tiny lights traveling in tandem through a vast darkness and drawing imperceptibly closer to each other as they go. As our meetings grew more frequent, I felt not so much that I had met someone new as that I had a chance upon a dear old friend.”

“Is it possible, finally, for one human being to achieve perfect understanding of another? We can invest enormous time and energy in serious efforts to know another person, but in the end, how close are we able to come to that person’s essence? We convince ourselves that we know the other person well, but do we really know anything important about anyone?”

“Giving up must be a choice. Giving up is the most sacred choice of a life. Giving up is the true human instant. And this alone, is the very glory of my condition.
Giving up is a revelation.”

“Nostalgia is not for the God we are missing, it is the nostalgia for ourselves who are not enough; we miss our impossible grandeur – my unreachable present is my paradise lost.”

“since I need to know exactly this: am I feeling what I am feeling, or am I feeling what I would like to feel? or am I feeling what I might need to feel?”

“This time, my beloved occupier couldn’t occupy the blue sky, besiege the sparkling stars, or cut the moon in half. This was the only assurance for me that there is still an inalienable part of my freedom that no one can take.”

Baha’ Ebdeir

“No, I don’t want to give you the fright of my love. If you’re afraid of me, I’ll be afraid of me. Don’t be scared of the pain.”

“But you’re afraid, I know you were always afraid of the ritual. But when one has been tortured to the point of becoming a nucleus, then one starts demonically wanting to serve the ritual, even if the ritual means consuming oneself – just as in order to have the incense the only way to get it is to burn the incense.”

“My error, however, must be the path of a truth: since only when I err do I step out of what I know and what I understand. If “truth” were whatever I could understand – it would end up being just a small truth, one my size.”

“For the present has no hope, and the present has no future: the future will be exactly once again present.”

“But what in abyss between the word and what it was trying to do, what an abyss between the word love and the love that doesn’t even have a human meaning— because— because love is living matter. Is love living matter?”

“But if I screamed even once, I might never again be able to stop. If I screamed nobody could ever help me again; whereas, if I never revealed my neediness, I wouldn’t scare anybody, and they would help me unawares; but only if I didn’t scare anybody by venturing outside the rules.”

“Well speaking to you, scare you and make me lose you? but if I don’t speak I’ll be lost, and in losing myself lose you.”

“How could I explain that my greatest fear is precisely of: being? and yet there is no other way. How can I explain that my greatest fear is living whatever comes? how to explain that I can’t stand seeing, just because life isn’t what I thought but something else — as if I knew what! Why is seeing such disorganization?”

“When I put down my pen, I meant to put away my memories with it.”

“She was not of our clay, she was a goddess, and we must not think that by worshipping her we could lower her to our level.”

“I was a conformist: it never occurred to me that because I suffered, there was something wrong with the system, or with the human heart.”

“The past is a foreign country: they do things differently there.”

“We can do and be so much for each other – but only when we see one another in our full humanity, not as statistics or problems, but as people who deserve to be alive in the world.”

“Why must we treat what are obviously systemic problems as failures of individual morality?”

“Imagining someone as more than human does much the same work as imagining them as less than human: either way, the ill are treated as fundamentally other because the social order is frightened by what their frailty reveals about everyone else’s.”