Leona > Recent Status Updates

Perhaps it takes something to receive love, I thought as I felt my jaw lock and stay there. Perhaps your ability to feel it waned, perhaps you are the one who ruins things, it was you, you-and there it was again, that useless, human blame two people will toss between each other when they become too tired or weak to carry the weight of love.

Perhaps it takes something to receive love, I thought as I felt my jaw lock and stay there. Perhaps your ability to feel it waned, perhaps you are the one who ruins things, it was you, you-and there it was again, that useless, human blame two people will toss between each other when they become too tired or weak to carry the weight of love.

You could argue, of course, that physical beauty indicates nothing of any depth about a person, yet few can avoid falling under its spell.

X once explained to me that her first wife, Marion Parker had been powerfully charming at first, but soon became cruel and jealous and childish. Once certain lines were crossed, there was no way to go back. I took this as a warning that every relationship con tains one-way gates, boundaries you can cross only once, limits I nervously tried to locate and avoid.

This sort of gesture—to force someone into feeling what they wanted to avoid—was something X did all her life to anyone she felt she had the right to change. It seems that more she loved someone, the more pain she wanted to dredge up, the more demanding she became, no matter the cost, no matter the damage.

Is it possible that the best thing to happen in your life could also be the worst?

Some days it seems she is only away in the next room, and when I go to that room she has fled to another room, and when I reach that one she is in yet another. So often I am sure I hear her voice on the other side of a wall or door, but she never stops moving-lecturing, arguing, laughing, making and remaking her case, always-insistent, scouring, spiraling, clear.

We roll into your older sister’s yard and as ever you go straight over to the horses, press your hand to their thick coats. I like watching you with them; you seem to go so well together, and you move so naturally around them. I like to think that horses are to you what dogs are to me. Personally, I find them frightening, and I get the feeling that they can sense my fear the minute I wheel my way on to the farm.