kenn! > Recent Status Updates

i hate it

I don’t think i like this

The Roman genius, and perhaps the Roman flaw, he said, was an obsession with order. One sees it in their architecture, their literature, their laws—this fierce denial of darkness, unreason, chaos.

Ruth sat down next to me. “That’s part of how
starved you’ve been. I think you’re afraid this is the
last beautiful thing that’s going to happen to you, and
you want to hold onto it.”

“don’t confuse my respect for you with patience”😵‍💫😵‍💫

perhaps home is not a place but simply an irrevocable condition

i scarcely know how to describe that room. it became, in a way, every room i had ever been in and every room i find myself in hereafter

i remember that life in that room seemed to be occuring underwater

he pulled me against him, putting himself into my arms as though he were giving me himself to carry, and slowly pulled me down with him to that bed. with everything in me screaming no, yet the sum of me sighed yes.

come. i am sure that i am much prettier than your wallpaper- or your concierge. i will smile at you when you wake up. they will not.

not many people have ever died of love. but multitudes have perished, and are perishing every hour- and in the oddest places!- for the lack of it.

“touch, but no contact. all touch, but no contact and no light.”

“you feel, in paris, all the time gone by.” … “what do you feel in new york?” … “all the time to come.”

“new york is very beautiful in a very different way.” he frowned. “in what way?” “no one,” i said “who has ever seen it can possibly imagine it.”

“nobody can stay in the garden of eden,” jacques said. and then: “i wonder why.”

when one begins to search for the crucial, the definitive moment, the moment which changed all others, one find oneself pressing, in great pain, through a maze of false signals and abruptly locking doors

those days before anything awful, irrevocable, had happened to me, when an affair was nothing more than an affair

to have your photo taken is to be told you exist

and by the new year i loved him as hopelessly, as helplessly, as a girl in a folk song

ah to be young and to be right about the ways of the world by default

turn. look up. bubble from my mouth drift high. blue tinge lips. floating hair. air-famished eyes. brown water turning into light. there now. there now. that was just lite. and now. what?

someone he can see and cut into. good to be. butter and knife. no. what he takes. what he takes is the what there is left of me

i love you it’s he says i love you. that is love evermore for me

i am here. i’m here remember. i. sit. in your room. in moment caught. shot. i sit with smiling face black. please pour the amber in we. ever ever ever would sit in this moment here