Sam Hacker > Recent Status Updates

I cannot believe John Mulaney’s “Kid Gorgeous” special sire in 2018 — what the fuck do you mean it’s nearly EIGHT YEARS OLD

‘Because I want to know! Sometimes, you can use what you know, but that’s not what counts the most. I want to know everything there is to know. Not because it’s any use, but purely for the pleasure of knowing, and I demand that you teach me everything you know, even if I’ll never be able to use it.’

I LOVE THIS BOOK

TWO YEARS

“It was the world.”

TRUTHINESS MENTIONED

Alison Leiby, you will always be famous

wait that’s the name of the book omg

wait until the Tralfamadorians find out about periods and menopause

“Billy turned on the Magic Fingers, and he was jiggled as he wept.”

cultivation of donors!!!!! yahoo!!!!!

my brain hurts

mission statements!!!!! don’t forget your mission statements!!!!!!

“do you think this waitress will card me if i order a margarita?”

I FORGOT THEY’RE ALL LIKE 20-21 YEARS OLD!!!!!!!!!

dude if i got an email saying my tuition was waived, and then 24 hours found out it was actually fraudulent, i’d show up at the dean’s office with a bomb strapped to my chest /hj

STANDING OVATION

these are the types of costumes i want to see at costume parties!!!!!!!

HOKUSAI MENTIONED‼️‼️‼️‼️

if you’re in my book club and you see this on the day we’re meeting for this exact book, no you didn’t!!!!!!! look away!!!!!!!