Jillian > Recent Status Updates

Louis Tomlinson?!?!!?? beyonce.jpg

I don't know guys darlington seems like he's doing just fine in hell. like he's got hobbies! you should just leave him there and hang out with gold demonton instead

why. why would harry potter exist in a world where magic also already exists.

I'm sorry Rafe being exactly the type of shameless dickhead to deliberately make a mess bc it's "somebody else's job to clean it up" is such a charm-suck 🤮 Lisa wtaf is this

actually the best scene in the book is alice plotting their elaborate cover up operation using her clairvoyance skills. almost makes the extended grand theft auto, car chase, reckless endangerment chapter worth it. almost. ALICE NARRATED BOOK WHEN??

oh okay sure the 'humans are friends not food' vampires have apparently resorted to sticking random humans with needles to knock them unconscious and flipping sports cars into oncoming traffic. we can't possibly eat them but reckless endangerment is fine

whyyyy do we need to know about how they get past the card machine at the parking garage or which freeway they take. just say they drive to the ballet studio. pls I know the end is in sight just

edward giving alice instructions on how to feed and care for a human like she's his petsitter

boy every time there's mention of the 'treaty' with the quileute tribe I sure feel a little sick

charlie apparently trusting bella to not sneak out so little that he unplugged her car battery... first of all, acab. second of all, what is with the men in these books!! is this where edward gets the idea to do basically this same thing in eclipse? leave bella's truck alone!!

I am... begging one of you to hop on bella's favorite search engine and look up types of sex besides straight piv missionary

"What had she imagined already? Millennia behind me, gothic castles and Transylvanian accents? Well, none of that was impossible. Carlisle knew those types."

really? why can't we then?? give them to me!! give me the draculas!!

oh my god edward has to hork up the human food he just ate like a cat. I hope we get to see him do it later. I'm losing my mind. this is my favorite bit of new information. nothing in this book will top this.

imagining vampires doing that full body regurgitation that cats do when they cough up a hairball. just leaving little piles of vampire barf on the floor. absolutely astounding. what majestic creatures.

nooo for some reason I really thought I'd go the whole book without getting a 'holy crow' since we don't have bella's narration but apparently I forgot she says it in front of him

every time CDs are mentioned i remember this is basically historical fiction

ugh stfu rosalie you're the karen of vampires

wait if tanya has fucked "thousands" of human men and she obviously has the same superhuman strength as any vampire and edward knows this, why does he think it's impossible for him to fuck bella without squishing her?

did he just "i ment 2 sey i will luv u FIVE-ever" her. what is this book

"Look at me. Now look at yourselves. Now look back at me. I am the man you want to be like."

Did this. Did this regency era historical romance just make a reference to THE OLD SPICE COMMERCIAL MEME?

I'm not even halfway through and she has already been catfished TWICE

"Things matter to me more than they do to normal people, I thought."

Is it really a good idea to open up the murder investigation to a group discussion with the whole town?

enough with books about silicon valley and back to my regularly scheduled goth shit

the best part of this book is francis's weirdly specific humiliation kink



(the rest of the book is oldmanyellsatcloud.jpg)

"A chemistry is performed so that a chemical reaction occurs and generates a signal from the chemical interaction with the sample, which is translated into a result, which is then reviewed by certified laboratory personnel."

there's a lot of you-can't-make-this-shit-up, bonkers details in this book, but this quote from an interview with elizabeth holmes in the new yorker is just... everything

love LOVE tana french