Viv Ross > Recent Status Updates

I'm glad that they can can look back in everything with realistic gratitude. You don't have to love every minute of a memory, but it's healthy to understand that it had an effect on your current self and how.

What an accomplishment. At this point I've no witty remarks or analysis, just...admiration. For a family, let alone one as large as theirs, to accomplish such a feat is something I have a lot of respect for.

I had no idea that my own words from earlier would so closely mimic Ben's near the end of this tale of his family's journey. They truly had a once in a lifetime experience.

What is there to be said at this point. I think I've said it all. At this point, I find myself in awe and a little jealous of all that this family went through together at this point. I'm sure some wonder what there would be to be jealous of on the hard days, the bad parts. What they received from the trail was much greater in value than what was taken by it.

Again, I come back to the question of what rules and definitions we allow to shape our existence and what right mankind has to dictate what others can and can't do. Hiking your own hike should be more commonplace. It's the trail version of live and let live.

I have been fiercely independent for most of my adult life. It wasn't until a few years ago, faced with the prospect of being homeless with a child and my wife, that I learned how to accept help. I even learned how to ask for it without making other people feel like I was taking advantage of them. Accepting help takes a depth of strength that most people don't know exists.

I'm all for national and state parks and preserving nature, but there's a fine, fine line between preserving and gatekeeping. Who is man to say that others are not "allowed" to partake of all that mother Earth has to give? Who is man to think that we "own" the land?

Some choices are so much harder to make than others. Choosing to go out and hike in inclement weather through some of the toughest terrain in the entirety of the trail is certainly one of those harder choices. Some people would and did call it irresponsible. To me, it speaks a lot of the motivation, determination, and overall strength of character that this entire family has.

It's wonderful how supportive we humans have the capacity to be to each other. The world would be a better place if more of us exercised that capacity. The thing is that it has to come from a place of selflessness that most of us don't really know how to tap into. When humans actively make a choice to do these things out of the goodness of our own hearts, there is nothing else like it in existence.

Sometimes I don't know what is more intimidating, not knowing what's going to happen to next or knowing exactly what's going to happen next but not how you're going to come out on the other end of it. Nothing about life is certain. Nothing is promised or guaranteed, and ultimately it's entirely unpredictable. It makes sense that this would be even more true in trail life.

Life is funny. Sometimes it's a series of set backs that leave you wondering if you'll ever move forward again, & other times it's a series of blessings that catapult you into the future. Most of the time it's a balanced mix of the two. As I said in a previous update, it seems that trail life is a super condensed version of regular day to day life and this chapter just kind of confirmed that thought for me.

It's hard feeling like you are to blame for someone's negative experience. Too often, parents buy into the guilt/blame our children lay on us w/o asking if they want to keep doing the thing they blame us for them doing. I also relate intimately to being the black sheep. I am. My mom is. My grandma was. Being the black sheep is a different kind of existence that most people likely wouldn't last long living through.

Sometimes you really have to ask if the "rules" & standards you're living or existing by are truly purposeful & serve you in any kind of beneficial way or if they're just arbitrary bluster that you don't necessarily need to adhere to. Sometimes, when we change our outlook on these things it frees us from so much more than just one thing & it can bring so much enrichment to our lives in ways we wouldn't ever expected.

I was also hung up on trying to raise our oldest to "be". Be good, be successful, be smart. I was also hung up on on him "doing". Sports, reading, clubs. Things I saw as useful. After meeting my wife, my perspective changed & we raise our kids for them function on their own someday. We support the interests of our oldest for him finding his way. It's really wonderful to know that other parents have a similar mindset.

I'm no stranger to cults, but I've also never had such close contact with one as the Crawfords experienced on their thru hike. The closest I've come is living scarily close to Crestone, CO where the "Love has Won" cult made the little hippie mountain town nationally infamous. I unknowingly met a few members at one point but I never set foot on their premises. It had to be even more nerve wracking than words can say.

I imagine trail hiking is like a condensed version of everyday life. You meet people, you may cross paths with those people repeatedly, you may never see them again. Everybody you meet on your journey has a purpose both in relation to & separate from you. I form different levels of attachment to people I see in my day to day life. I imagine that on the trail the same sense of attachments and detachments applies.

It's amazing what children accomplish when they're not limited & allowed to exist w/o boundaries. It doesn't work for every child/family but when it does, it's a beautiful thing to behold. It's something we've been blessed to see with our sons & the care the older 1 willingly gives to his brother w/o our prompting. I don't have to imagine how proud Ben & Kami felt in this moment. I know that same pride in my own way.

Holy cow. I can't imagine walking over ten miles a day for months and then running close to thirty miles in one day even if it was something I do all the time. I do agree though that it's important to live the story you would want to read. It's part of the reason that my family is working so avidly toward our goal of having a community homestead. That is the story we want to read, to tell... to live.

Man, sometimes I think what holds people back the most from accomplishing all that they can accomplish is sentimentality. It serves a purpose, don't get me wrong. There are people in my life that I will never forget; but unless they are my family, I do my best to keep moving forward with my life for my own good and that of my family. We can't sabotage ourselves just for the sake of familiarity and its comfort.

You know, it's crazy how a shift in circumstance can change your perspective on some things. Removing all of the bells and whistles and superfluous day to day ennui beyond just existing and working towards a "survival" goal can drastically change your outlook on so many different things such as shared/bonding time and how appealing and satisfying a place or thing can be.

It's amazing when you find people who can not only sympathize with you but also empathize, and it's a relief when you find out that there are people in your corner that have no skin in the game so to speak regarding your successes or failures. It gives silver lining to most things, I've found. Once again, I am so glad for the Crawfords that they were blessed with that along their journey.

I'm so glad for the Crawfords that they had such wonderful in person interactions with other people on their travels. I have learned that sometimes people surprise you in a good way and it's such a different kind of feeling when they do. It's almost overwhelming. It's like a pure unconditional platonic love that just leaves you with this ambiguous positive emotion that's hard to put into words. It's life changing.

Reddit. Phew. In some ways Reddit is a superior form of social media; but in other ways it is a highly brutal, judgmental, righteous echo chamber. Reddit communities have the unfortunate tendency to become concentrated toxicity. I'm glad that Ben and Kami ultimately dismissed the negativity being spewed by the Redditors in favor of only engaging with direct, face-to-face discussion regarding their choices.

Some people's perception of abuse and neglect is absolutely wild. Absolutely wild. It also is crazy just how much people will exaggerate something to give their opinions more weight. I'd much rather share a family experience like the Crawford's did with their kids than be one of those parents that always gets everything I want while my kids go hungry and never spend time with me.

Why are anonymous negative people always the loudest? All these people complained about Ben and Kami's choices but didn't take into account that for the most part the kids had a choice too. Calculated risk exists for a reason. Too many people always choose the safe option and come to regret it. This whole chapter reminded me of the movie "The Pagemaster". Oftentimes the safe choice hinders progress.

Despite completely different circumstances, I find myself relating to Ben and Kami more than I ever thought possible. I feel like both our best and our worst parenting decisions happen when we reach our breaking points. Even as adults who understand our emotions and the long term effects of the actions we choose more than the children we are raising, we are ultimately human just like them.

"Hike your own hike." What a simple and yet profound phrase. I may just make a late new year's resolution (something I haven't bothered with for years) to do just that, so to speak. It seems like it's all too easy to get caught up in seeking approval or caving to societal pressures. but we don't all live the same lives and not everyone's journey is the same. There are things that don't need a "right" way to be done.

Once more, I can relate to Ben and Kami. Sometimes it seems like everything is going wrong and that it comes all at the absolute worst times. Thank goodness for the kindness of others. It's also such a proud moment for a parent to witness our children make a hard choice that is on the good side of moral when they didn't have to. There's also something to be said for being flexible and willing to change plans.

The first chapter is painfully relatable as a parent. My wife and I have tried a few different parenting styles over the course of the last 8 years. We want our kids to grow up to be functional adults; and, like Ben and Kami, we also want them to maintain a relationship with us into their adulthood. It's a hard balance. Ultimately, all we can do as parents is commit to a decision and go from there. The first step.

Less than two days left to join the February Flavor of the Month: Sweet Tooth or Bittersweet? Monthly Reading Challenge! Give it a shot, my friends ^_^ I'm the host.