Cole > Recent Status Updates

Some parts are normal to understand and I get into it and then it goes back to gibberish again. There’s not enough context to even try to piece anything together, and nothing before it that would make trying to feel worth it.

But when I get it, it’s good.

Precession of Simulacra:
Disneyland, Watergate, Reality TV, Nuclear Warfare
Simulacra: events or spectacles that hide the fact that behind them, there is no real. All working towards a social order with no discernible source of power. “Illegible violence.”

It’s tough to get through but exhilarating writing all the same. Just trying to swim through it.

Quiteee a bit more gay sex than I expected in here. Pretty violent gay sex too.

If they make books more disturbing than this I’m good.

I don’t know what any of these words mean and when I do they are not very pleasant to read while eating. Not a breakfast book.

Just want to finish this before break ends. I wish you could adjust the page count on here if your editing is different.

Sometimes I’ll read a page and it’s shocking how relatable it is of those cold and lonely feelings that I’ve never been able to put into words.

Finished Twilight of the Idols. Since Nietzsche pulls from pretty much all of philosophy and of 19th century German culture, a lot goes over my head. But there is also a lot of gems here. I can also see why he’s known as “edgy”: this is basically a drive-by on the Greeks and Christianity and all our values stemming from them

Twilight of the Idols: A lot is going over my head. I see why people recommend a background in Greek philosophy and Christianity especially. But I do understand enough to see how Nietzsche presents the opposite of these, how these ideologies have suppressed the human spirit.

Almost done, reading a letter at a time. A reductive philosophy, but most people would be better off if they adopted at least some of these principles.

Slow going. This guy's diary is filled with disquiet and abdication. I do like the idea of giving up everything to dream. Removing yourself from life. Stoicism in that everything real should be looked at with indifference. Becoming so internal, so sensitive that real life becomes too much to bear.

Reading this a bit again, but I’m getting a bit tired of stoicism. Time for Nietzsche finally?

A lot of this in reading and rereading unable to discern any meaning. This is made up for by the passages that have had a choke hold on my psyche the last week.

Feeling that it's sort of winding down; Raskolnikov's fate about to be sealed?

First nonfiction book since starting grad school! I've realized I do have some extra time for this, and I don't want to put all of it off until I'm finished. Just taking it at a slower pace.

All this happened in two days?

Progress slowing due to school and having less in me to read after reading textbooks all day. Stuck in kind of a slow part but it looks like it’s about to heat up again. Overall thrilling so far.

Let’s see if I can finish this before starting grad school.
More of a personal reflection kind of style, so less dense = easier to get through than POTO. Heavily influenced by the latter, so a good next stop.

Blessed with some paid free time to get into this book. One of my most exhilarating reads in awhile. Dostoevsky is surpassing DFW as my favorite author as of right now; his dramatic style is infecting my text messages. Some unforgettable scenes already in this book: dreary, dramatic, brutal stuff so far. Perfect!

Repetition to drive the points home.
Oppressors are dehumanized while dehumanizing, treat oppressed as objects, drive to possess.
Revolution must come from the oppressed, avoid reverting to oppressor relationship (which is internalized).
Banking model mimics oppressive relationship. Does not create thinking beings, the true purpose of genuine education.

Yeah um, in starting to think this guys a little strange…

Slow progress, only reading a bit and night and takes a while to get through a page with French translations and many new words.

It’s predictably quite disturbing, but with some of the most beautiful prose I’ve read. Quite the mix. It’s funny in an ironic and absurd sense, a beautiful sentence employed to describe a pedophilic fantasy. Imagining how much time Nabokov had to embody this mindset.

Reading Zizek long form unsurprisingly allows for a more thorough understanding of these Lacanian concepts. The media examples are helpful, and I’ve been keeping these concepts in mind when consuming media.

Difficult, but helpful to actually read the thought process behind the psychoanalysis of film that I’ve only heard in speech form. Starting to understand the basic concepts of lacanian PA, and seeing how this can facilitate a materialist understanding of psychic phenomena

Almost done, only a couple footnotes left and should be smoother sailing from here. This book as affected my mind greatly in the way I see people’s behavior in relationships. How we use defenses, avoid fantasy, want to be told how to want, to be compelled to act, balancing ledgers, depriving others — all these things serving as a barrier to true love.

Reading this primarily this week. Ideas aren’t necessarily new at this point, just being reinforced with more examples.

E.g., creating an elaborate fantasy for an omnipotent entity to deprive another since they enjoyed more than you, being resentful of being depended on, doing things for an audience and letting them be the judge.

A simple thing that’s stuck: one day, no matter what, I will be depended on.