Mard > Recent Status Updates

lowkey embarrassing for the doctor that it has taken him this long to realize his clinically insane patient that eats spiders and talks about increasing his energy by taking more souls is under the direction of a vampire

the professor: “Hey guys, I’m gonna need you to meet me at a cemetery at midnight so we can dig up your friend’s dead fiancé. Promise you’ll trust me and don’t ask any questions.”
the fiancé and friends: “Sounds good!”

am I reading fan fiction. because it feels like a 13 year old girl wrote this.

If my mother is dying, I am haunted and sick, and my fiancée is out of town so my ex boyfriend is the one staying up all night to watch me sleep, trust that I would at the LEAST start asking questions?!!!!

also if I’m dying and a doctor starts calling me little miss and then tells my fiancée to kiss me WHILE IM UNCONSCIOUS I’m fighting

I fear if an elderly woman gave me a rosary and told me not to go on a journey, I would listen to her

sick to my stomach