I can go to sleep now because these first pages bored me to death. It's straight up bad writing. From the very first paragraph it's a total mess. The metaphors shift the tone within the sentence ? The author is telling me something she should make me discover by myself via sub-text? The last 2 sentences have nothing to do with the first ones? She's writing the character before the moment of action in the beginning?
— Feb 21, 2026 05:46PM
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