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istg if Adriana can’t save this pride month for me I’m gonna [redacted]

I fear this is already a 5 star read for me…

I’m known for reading weird books but this is by far one of my weirdest yet, thus meaning, I’m absolutely loving it. now I just need the motivation to pack so I can finish this audiobook 🫠

the tension…I’m slowly dying in the best way

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHICANTWAIT

“Them. Them. Always them. No one called them by name. No one in the group spoke. They all stood still, waiting. For what, Marcus didn’t know. Suddenly, he felt sick to his stomach. He wanted to be somewhere else, anywhere else.” So, yeah. I’m sitting at Shoal Creek trying not to weep. God, the fucking symbolism and parallels. I wanna scream and cry and vomit. I’m gonna need a day before I write my review.

I can’t believe I’m done with the Ghanaian lineage. I need more. “Instinctively, Marjorie raised her hand to the necklace…It had belonged to Old Lady and to Abena before her, and to James, and Quey, and Effia the Beauty before that. It had begun with Maame, the woman who had set a great fire.” I can’t stop thinking about the other stone left in the slave chambers of the castle. About how Esi was erased.

Fuck me. “It makes me sad to see my son a junkie after all the marchin’ I done, but makes me sadder to see you thinkin’ you can leave like your daddy did. You keep doin’ what you doin’ and the white man don’t got to do it no more. He ain’t got to sell you or put you in a coal mine to own you. He’ll own you just as is, he’ll say you the one who did it. He’ll say it’s your fault.” Yeah. Yeah.

At the end of every chapter I’m a little disappointed bc I want more. I would read whole books about any of these characters. But I have what I have which is still brilliance. “The longer he looked at himself in a mirror, the longer he lived alone, the longer the country he loved stayed under colonial rule, the angrier he became.” I can’t believe I only have one more chapter in Ghana. I need more 😩

One of the things this book does so well is showing the intersection of blackness and whiteness, but also woman and man. I hate Robert and I hate Eli, and yet at the same time I can’t fault them for the choices they made. “Willie shook her head. ‘No, Carson. We can’t go any further. I think it’s time we go back.’” All I know is that Willie deserved better. At least in the end she sings.

The plot twists in this one got me. There is something so truly evil about the demonization of African religion. Who do you become when the thing that holds your worldview together is deemed an abomination? “What kind of evil does not know itself?” And who do you become when you go back? “They would not tell her where they had put Abee and Ama Serwah. They would not say anything at all”

Men fucking suck is the moral of this story. “She didn’t make a scene. Instead, she turned and began walking, past the people dancing, past her parents crying, walking until she found the floor of her hut and lay down on it, one hand clutching her heart and the other clutching her stomach.” Both Ohene and her father’s choices lead her destitute and utterly alone. I think the next wing of this story will hurt

So I finally broke down and cried over this chapter. I didn’t have time to talk about it yesterday bc I was reeling then I picked up a hitchhiker. I have a lot of thoughts about this chapter. Far too many for the limited amount of characters I’m able to have in an update. But I will certainly talk more about it in my final review. Just absolutely gutting. I don’t think I’ll ever recover from this one.

“The Asante had power from capturing slaves. The Fante had protection from trading them. If the girl could not shake his hand, then surely she could never touch her own.” This chapter was a little happier. It was about personhood and choosing a different path than the one you were born to. About wanting to be more than another cog. About a simple life. No need for power. No need for money. Just love. Twas sweet.

This book is actually going to make me cry, and if you know me, you know I don’t cry. “No, her scarred skin was like another body in an of itself, shaped like a man hugging her from behind with his arms hanging around her neck… Ness’s skin was no longer skin really, more like the ghost of her past made seeable, physical. She didn’t mind the reminder.” So yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I am quickly becoming mentally unwell. “He would not be weak. He was in the business of slavery, and sacrifices had to be made.” The perception of weakness is the most fruitless and seemingly futile aspect of our patriarchal society. It’s sad to see it smother a man and make him the thing he hated most. This one was randomly gay. But how that affection was quickly squashed in the name of power was devastating.

I’ve decided to journal my thoughts on every chapter so y’all can just ignore me. “Hell is a place of remembering, each beautiful moment passed through the mind’s eye until it fell to the ground like a rotten mango, perfectly useless, uselessly perfect.” Yeah so that’s gonna weigh on my soul for a long while. I mean we know the transatlantic slave trade was incomprehensibly monstrous but still. Fuck.

Jesus H. Christ. I’m 27 pages in and already emotionally eviscerated. “You are nothing from nowhere. No mother and now no father.” She looked at Effia’s stomach and smiled. “What can grow from nothing?” Like fuck me I guess. I’m scared but entirely invested.

I don’t think I’m smart enough to understand this book but I’m living for it

love really makes people dumb as hell.

god I love all these characters so bad

this is the most romantically messy book I’ve ever read for the fact that it’s a sci-fi/fantasy thriller. like is this gonna be ‘why choose’ or enemies-to-lovers slow burn? it could literally go either way. or maybe they’ll become a quadruple lol. fr tho the plot is insane, and I’m so invested in this fascinating and well constructed world.

she’s trying to make medical fraud sound cute. billing and coding is not a joke ma’am. also honey is not an ER doc. she gives hospitalist, the ppl just don’t know what that is. an ER doc with a PhD is an oxymoron fr.

CEDAR RAPIDS MENTION! (also there’s a real wah-kahn spelled Waukon in Iowa and I hate that I know that and it mildly annoyed me that she made a fake one lol) CEDAR RAPIDS MENTION!

my chaotic bisexual queen! like what do you mean you're in love with the woman and man you've been exchanging love letters for AND you're still hung up on your ex? so real of her. but yeah, I'm enjoying the world building and am excited to see where it goes from here.

how am I 2/3rds through this and we aren't even to the end of the traitor queen? the third act break up did kinda slay tho. I am looking forward to seeing them in palace together. I hope we get the dinner scene from one of their perspectives. I'm so impatient tho. I need something new.

as someone who’s unironically read reylo fan-fiction, I feel the need to atone for my sins. I’m gonna finish this book but idk if I can handle more Ali after this. it’s triggering. it’s infinitely cringy…but I don’t entirely hate it. not yet at least.

not at all the point, but I’m already obsessed with the inadequate heir and the Valcottan princess.
on the point, you know I love some politicking and the politics are politicking rn. and the tension is rising beautifully. good thing I got 2.5 hrs more of driving tomorrow 😁

not quite cooking yet but the water is getting to a steady boil. so excited to see how crazy this shit gets.

this bitch is like actually crazy but I’m obsessed with her. she’s just the right kind of ‘should probably be institutionalized’.