Jack Scherner > Recent Status Updates

Things are going a little too sweet rn

You can’t show me a cool drawing of a magical typewriter, a sick map, then throw me into doom and despair right away like that

Not cool M.L. Wang

“I once knew a lady who used to make a Himalayan cat named Peanut’s Splendid Flavor eat nothing but a weird diet with no meat and then Peanut got really sick and she got alopecia.”

“Man, it was like a screeching, amplified baby combined with an outboard motor revving at a high rpm. I’m not even joking when I say it was one of the loudest, most terrifying things I’ve ever heard. Holy shit.”

Who knew politics about a green stone could be so intense

I need to see more of this goat lady, Prepotente, and their hellspawn immediately

I will be livid if anything happens to Princess Donut

“New Achievement! Cuck Aquaman! You got fucked by a fish. You’ve done something so spectacularly controversial, courts and lawyers had to get involved.”

“I’m not as dumb as I pretend to be. I know she’s dead.”

This damn cat is making me sad

Who knew that a group of crazy cult elves, a large family of angry dwarves with a pregnant mother, a velociraptor, city guards, a talking cat, and a dude in boxers would get up to absolutely nothing good