jadyn miller > Recent Status Updates

madden must be so tatted UP because the AMOUNT of TIMES i have read "heavily inked skin" is actually sickening

ce ricci loves to say clad too

madden must be so tatted UP because the AMOUNT of TIME i have read "heavily inked skin" is actually sickening

Because I don't want him.

I can't.

OH MY GOD

“Just because you love dick doesn’t mean everyone around you does too” except everyone around him does too as all of his friends are actually booed up!!! god i love leighton u

Andrei: You make me want to die.

yea andrei you also make me want to die 🤘🤘

The truth is that, in a way, I became addicted to lan's abuse. I needed routine, stability, a coherent story that I could use to make sense of the world, and lan's story, whether he told it in words or through his actions, was that I wasn't good enough. When he was no longer there to tell me this story, I began looking for someone else to tell it to me. I didn't have to look far.

😞😞

I knew it was over. That was that. In spite of how
addicted I was to alcohol and cocaine, I was still Chris. I was still the little boy who loved his family. Who just wanted to fit in. Who just wanted the pain to stop. Who just wanted to feel normal. The version of Chris I'm told was always laughing, who rarely cried, who loved expressing himself, who had so much love for everyone.

oh chris olsen ❤️‍🩹

I knew it was over. That was that. In spite of how
addicted I was to alcohol and cocaine, I was still Chris. I was still the little boy who loved his family. Who just wanted to fit in. Who just wanted the pain to stop. Who just wanted to feel normal. The version of Chris I'm told was always laughing, who rarely cried, who loved expressing himself, who had so much love for everyone.

oh chris olsen ❤️‍🩹

“I worry that there is a very big part of you that doesn't want Christopher to get better, because his struggles have given you a sense of purpose and a way to hide your manipulative behavior behind something 'good. But what you're doing is not beneficial to either Christopher or Caroline. It's continuing a pattern of abuse. So how do we break that?"

"Well, I'm going to say that I don't think you were held accountable at any of them. Because if you had been, you would not be lashing out like this. I think the reality is that many of this family's problems can be traced back to your selfish actions.”

We'd texted throughout the summer, but of course I hadn't told her the full extent of my drug usage. She didn't know I was getting no sleep and doing a gram of coke a night. But she didn't need to know that to tell I wasn't doing well. She could see it in my tired, unseeing eyes. I was a zombie. I wasn't ever really where I was. I was always elsewhere, contending with the darker angels of my nature.

chris 😞

I didn’t need to be the best; I just couldn’t be the worst. I needed other people to think, “You know what? That Chris Olsen kid belongs here.” If I could do that, I thought, then I’d be just fine.

i genuinely have been pondering on this a lot

As a teenager, you’re usually old enough to have wounds that affect your actions, but still too young to recognize what they are or where they come from. You’re angry about childhood trauma, you just don’t know it. You think you’re just an angsty adult, when in reality, you’re still a hurt child, only now people expect a lot more of you (and you can drive).

As much as I missed my mom and desperately wanted to be accepted for who I was—I also made choices. How we respond to the things that are done to us is a choice. As children and young adults, the choices we make often aren’t dictated by logic or reason. Instead, I think they’re attempts to escape from the suffocating grip of all the things that have hurt us, no matter who we have to claw past on our way out.

I would sit there for hours and friend request everyone Facebook told me l might maybe kind of sort of potentially know, obsessed with the idea of having one hundred friends, five hundred friends, one thousand friends. How many digital buddies could I collect? How popular could I become? In real life, was becoming an outsider, but Facebook was the great leveler.

She said a lot of things, most of which I didn't hear, or couldn't hear, or wouldn't hear. The general shape of what she was saying was that she was sorry. Sorry that I was here in the first place. Sorry that I had to see her like this. Sorry that she wasn't being the mom I needed her to be. Sorry that she was an alcoholic. The longer she spoke, the more numb I became.

🥹🥹

I never really felt self-conscious in front of Tommy-he knew about my love of High School Musical and Disney prin-cesses—but my face did go red at the thought of coming across as a little too into Emma Stone. Guys didn't fangirl over actresses. They were supposed to want to sleep with them.

🥹🥹🥹

"was this really my house? were these really my things?" is actually something i so deeply relate to

what do you mean he had to tell his mom “i love you, but I don’t like you right now”???? this psychological torture is horrendous 😞😞

It eventually occurred to me to hug her back, and she let out a deep wail that was so intense that I thought maybe she was releasing a real-life demon. And still, I had no idea what the hell to do. After thirty seconds or so, I called out for my dad, hoping that he could step in and save me. In between sobs, she managed to choke out: "You don't need to call him, Christopher. Can't you do this for me?"

She took me into her arms and buried her face in my shoulder. For a moment, I stood as still as a statue, paralyzed by fear. What was I supposed to do? Seriously, how was I supposed to handle this thing that I didn't really understand?

How cruel that she was robbed of the ability to freely share her culture.

hey why am i crying on campus.

I'm going to be annoyingly melodramatic here, but that first year at Stagedoor changed my life. Never before had I seen so many people who were just like me, kids and young adults from all over the country who loved playing pretend. All of the girls were Rachel Berry and all of the boys Kurt Hummel (with one or two identifying as Finn).

I doubted that they could be experiencing anything close to the magic I felt every time I witnessed Troy realize he didn't have to choose between basketball and theater, the rapturous first notes of "Breaking Free" whisking me away to a place where everything made sense, where little boys could wear dresses without fear of judgment and where touchdowns weren't worth six fucking points.

oh chris 💔💔

If I wasn't shit-talking all the friends who tried to tell me I had a problem because deep down, I knew they were right, and the only way to stop myself from feeling the full weight of that shame was to make it seem like anyone who thought I had an issue was a total dick-well, then I was just a shitty, shitty friend.

If I wasn't stealing money and alcohol from my dad to fuel an addiction, then I was just someone who stole.
If I wasn't cheating on my high school boyfriend because my dependency on drugs was turning me into a shell of a human being who desperately needed to hide from himself in the arms of another man, then I was just a cheater.

MadDog and Teddy Bear I'M SCREAMING

oh the wonderful things you’ll read in thea 3050

everyone say see you later jadyn because i might never be back here #schooliskickingmybutt