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Ihmisen ohjausjärjestelmää, aivoja, ei ole valmiiksi ohjelmoitu, vaan vuorovaikutus ympäristön kanssa muuttaa sitä. Aivojen sisäiset kytkennät muovautuvat joka kerta, kun lapsi ratkoo haasteita, puntaroi mahdollisuuksiaan ja alkaa ymmärtää yhteiskunnan sosiaalisia rakenteita

you can't extinguish an association that you have not learned. The key observation used to support this point of view is that people cannot always point to some harmful experience as the source of their problems. However, the fact that one doesn't remember having been condi- tioned does not mean that the conditioning did not take place.

The ability to observe one's behavior and thus create representations of behavior in working memory is called monitoring.By directing our attention to our behavioral output, we can acquire information about what we are doing and intentionally adjust our behavior in light of thoughts, memories, and feelings. As an executive function of working memory, monitoring, involves circuits in the prefrontal cortex

Tuttuuden ja koherenssin tuoma turvallisuuden tunne saa meidät näkemään itsemme sellaisina kuin näimme itsemme lapsena. Käytämme siis aikuisina lapsuuden kohteluamme en- nakoimaan sitä, millaisina toiset meidät nyt näkevät ja ottavat vastaan, ja jopa määrittelemään sitä, millaisen kohtelun an- saitsemme, silloinkin kun kohtelu on alentavaa ja rajoittavaa.

tuttuus ja vaivattomuuskin on aivojemme karkea mittari "turvallisuudelle", silloinkin kun pyrkimys koherenssiin saa meidät toimimaan vastoin omaa etuamme. Lukuisissa tutkimuksissa on esimerkiksi osoitettu, että ihmiset, jotka eivät pidä itseään kovin korkeassa arvossa suosivat vuorovaikutusta sellaisten ihmisten kanssa, jotka niin ikään suhtautuvat heihin kielteisesti

taloustietei- lijä Thorstein Veblen kutsui asiantuntijoiden "koulutetuksi kyvyttömyydeksi". Paisunut itsevarmuus saa kokeneet konkarit sivuuttamaan tilannesidonnaisen informaation, ja mitä tutumpi jokin tietty ongelma asiantuntijalle on, sitä todennäköisemmin hän turvautuu muistipankkinsa valmiisiin

We have far more fibers that go from the body to the brain, with some 80 percent of the fibers carrying signals to the brain and only 20 percent carrying signals back from the brain to the body

Instead of Trying to correct or eliminate a concerning behaviour, try to understand the clues is offers about ur child’s inner experience

There is nothing wrong lining ur work with your interest or working hard refining your craft. Like it’s unrealistic to expect a spouse to for fill our social, emotional and intellectual needs, it is unrealistic to expect a job to be our soul method of actualisation. That is a burden our job are not designed to bear

Cultivating a healthy working culture becomes the responsibility of the individual it will always fail. The responsibility of better work culture lies in the workplace it self

Internal satisfaction for an activity may decrease when the promise of an external reward looms. Working exclusively for external reward rarely brings lasting fulfilment

When don’t trust our own definition of what is good we let other people define it for us. When we assume other values an our own, we undermine our autonomy. Instead determining our own term of success, we buy it off shelf.

One the myth that status equals success. When we say some on is successful, we rarely they are happy and healthy. We mean they make a lot of money

When we invest I different side of our self we are better at set backs.

When we expect work to self actualise, to constantly motivate and for fill us, settling for anything less can feel like a failure.

The question is how to how to balance the pursuit of meaningful work with the risk letting the job subsume who u are.

Jobs has come to a kin of a religious identity. Addition to a pay check they provide meaning, community and a sense of purpose. workism = a workist seeks meaning for there work similar to how a religious person seeks meaning for their faith. Work has evolved for a choir, to a status, to means for self actualisation

It’s not how u feel, it’s what u do that counts !

Have I done enough ? Possibly, but am I enough?

What ever u believe in ur self, in this superficial pop psychology self knowledge is more about personality, rather than the intimate kind of knowing side with our histories to better se our present self

Intense judgment towards anyone, check in with ur body. The lesson is not that u shouldn’t judge, because it is ur automatic mind doing it. To judge ourself for judging is to keep the wheel of shame spinning. Healing flow when we are able to view this world as a mirror our own pain.

Where ever we find us tolerating or explaining away situation that often stresses us insisting that “it’s not so bad”, “ I can handle it”, “I don’t want to make a fuss about it”, there is opportunity to give anger some space. Even the plain spoken “ I don’t like this” or ” i don’t what this” can be a step forward

There is no freedom to having to be good, most talented or in need to please or entertain or be interesting. Nor can we be authentic when we react by automatic oppression to other people’s demands. Mayor reactivity leave no room for response ability

Core needs: belonging, relatedness or connectedness, autonomy, sense of control of once life, mastery or competence, genuine self-esteem not dependent on achievement, position or valuation by other, trust a sense of having a personal and social recourse to sustain one through life and purpose, meaning, knowing oneself as part of something larger than isolated self-centred problems.

Calling an addiction a disease may capture aspects of it without coming close to explaining the phenomenon and not granting us a workable pathway to healing at is source. Addiction is not restricted to drugs

Addictions represent the defences of a organism again suffering not knowing how to endure.

Which traits and attitudes serve the maintenance of the culture this are then inshrined as human nature while deviation from them are seen as abnormal

Nobody can in defensive mode and in growth mode

She is not to be accepted who she is, instead how she is. Even if the parent wins the behaviour modification game the child loses. We have learn the child that she is going to be rejected if there emotional self wore to surface.

How we are being is not who we are. This error keeps us from considering other possibilities. Instead ask yourself what circumstances evokes which sorts of outcomes.

The perceived need to be what the world demands comes entangled with who we are and how to seek love.

Personality traits we that we think are us acutely or even take pride in actually bear the scar where we lost connection to one self