Allison B > Recent Status Updates

this book is making me so hungry holy shit 😭😭😭

finally reading this while listening to underscores elevator music set #multitasking

this is beautiful so far but i need to lock in and read it during the day instead of when im half asleep 💔

“What I wanted to say was, ‘Maria, I love you even though you hurt me and thank you for keeping that footage, however jolting it was so see myself there again. Thank you for remembering me, however skewed.’”

oh my god😭😭😭😭😭😭

“If I am hungry and I eat and I remain hungry, hunger becomes rage. But to deny fulfillment makes sense of the hunger- I don’t eat, so I am hungry.”

ughhh i missed this book so much

oh yeah i get what i meant now. the zombie aspect really captures the deep dread of looking at yourself in the mirror and being like ohh no this is so wrong this is really wrong

i finally fished her out from behind my dresser from the time i dropped her trying to kill a spider like three months ago. she is fully unscathed and it turns out i only had to move the dresser like 2in away from the wall… oh well

also last time i read this i left a note saying i was rereading this through a “gender nonconforming lens” and idk exactly what i meant by that but im sure past me had a vision

ruth and maria’s dynamic is so reminiscent of lucy and susannah

this book feels like the middle of december during the school year when you wake up every morning and it’s still dark and you don’t know if it’s monday or thursday or saturday and you have no idea what you did yesterday or the day before that and everything starts to blend together until you’re like wow why am i even alive

i’m scared that this is gonna be another one of those books where the concept is super cool but in reality nothing important happens and it’s like 150 pages of nothing

“There is a black feathered thing inside of me. It’s as if all my life I wanted it there. Or the space for it was there. The possibility.”

rereading this book in a very gender nonconforming way

this book is just sadbait oh my god lucy please just lock in

i WILL. finish this book today

“This confusion is torture, the unknowing is a hand on my throat, tightening. Lethal, glorious, inviting Hell. I want this Hell to last.”

hamster screaming in anguish sticker!! i forgot how much of this book was just lucy pining

i remember why i put this book down for like 2 months 😬😬