crystal > Recent Status Updates

‘You look like you could star in ab Auschwitz documentary’ what on earth is happening why has a talking cat just said that? I am so unbelievably lost right now

Ew why is he drink driving. I hope he loses his leg and more

I’m a little confused on this book like what is the plot of this or whatever. #confused like do we ever find out why he had those dreams or are we just casually moving onto the next story?

Oh no I knew I didn’t like him but this solidified it

I actually cannot stand Randall already

Oh Oliver is actually so lovely I am terrified something is going to happen to him

The playlist im sobbing

SHUT UP

I mean I should have seen it coming but SHUT
UP

This cant be happening when they’re finally happy surely

Im sobbing he bought the house and left it untouched like he promised her. SIX YEARS HE WAITED IM SICK

STOP RIGHT NOW I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I CANT

‘Getting the opportunity to fall in love with you is my best memory and all I can do is hope that one day you’ll let me do it again’

Screaming and crying

Oh my poor babies

‘But I’m not your person’
‘Yeah. Thats what I spent the past six years trying to convince myself of too. But I’m tired of lying, Hallie. Aren’t you?’

Ugh why has it took a whole book series to see this man happy and in love

They’re killing me already

‘He kissed her’ ahhhh never been so excited to see those worse. I actually love that this book didnt focus on romance yet you could still see it happening throughout

What the actual

Wait who killed the dog then?

What. I was not expecting this like at all

Why do animals have to keep dying in books? I actually cant

‘We both look over to see the can of whipped cream with its EYES open’ am i real? like am i actually a real human being reading this?

‘good ol’ sloppy toppy’ i want to bleach my eyes

‘Legs wide, baby. I need to inspect my new little cow’ what am I actually reading

‘“My delicious dairy cow” he mocks flicking the bell hanging from my neck’. WHAT

‘I squeal as the chilly block of cream cheese grazes my nipples’

Wow we are right in the deep end okay!!

Okay so someone sent me this on tiktok and I have no self restraint so here I am

Why is it taking so long for her to realise she wants him? Its driving me insane

I actually love monty so much

‘Watch your fucking words when you’re speaking to my wife’ ugh it does it for me every time