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PHILOSOPHER: But if life were climbing a mountain in order to reach the top, then the greater part of life would end up being “en route.” That is to say, one’s “real life” would begin with one’s trek on the mountainside, and the distance one has traveled up until that point would be a “tentative life” led by a “tentative me.

72- aortic aneurysm

Chapter 71 - Aortic Dissection

Chapter 15 vertigo

Chapter 11

Chapter 22

“Why is it that people seek recognition from others? In many cases, it is due to the influence of reward-and-punishment education.”

“One has to get recognition, or one will suffer. If one doesn’t get recognition from others and from one’s parents, one won’t have confidence.”

“But, as I said earlier, other people are not living to satisfy your expectations.”

“It is certainly distressful to be disliked. If possible, one would like to live without being disliked by anyone. One wants to satisfy one’s desire for recognition. But conducting oneself in such a way as to not be disliked by anyone is an extremely unfree way of living, and is also impossible. ”

“In short, that “freedom is being disliked by other people.”
YOUTH: Huh? What was that?
PHILOSOPHER: It’s that you are disliked by someone. It is proof that you are exercising your freedom and living in freedom, and a sign that you are living in accordance with your own principles.”

“Not wanting to be disliked is probably my task, but whether or not so-and-so dislikes me is the other person’s task. Even if there is a person who doesn’t think well of me, I cannot intervene in that. To borrow from the proverb I mentioned earlier, naturally one would make the effort to lead someone to water, but whether he drinks or not is that person’s task”

“So if we were all to become a product of our environment, myself included, the best thing I could do was to choose the right environments from here on, ones that would suit the direction I wanted my life to move toward. It was still going to take courage to live the way I wanted. But this new awareness, of the potential effects the surrounding environment could have on me, would make the journey easier.”

- Breaking the patterns of decades took a lot of guts. But my pain gave me that and I had nothing to lose anymore.
- “The most important thing I have ever learnt in life though, the most, most important thing, is that compassion starts with yourself”
- “Learning to view life compassionately, and accept that I may never have the understanding or loving relationships I had once yearned for, was liberating”

“For instance, she doesn’t care for the way he eats; his slovenly appearance at home fills her with revulsion, and even his snoring sets her off. Even though until a few months ago, none of it had ever bothered her before. The person feels this way because at some stage she has resolved to herself, I want to end this relationship, and she has been looking around for the material with which to end it.”

Last chapters are a little bit boring

The more I read, the more questions arise, and the more memories resurface—each one a painful reminder of how far the country has fallen from the vibrant, cultured place it once was.