lucy > Recent Status Updates

martha and henry . wow . i didn't know i needed this
i have so little pages left but my lunch break is over so i'll finish this tonight 😭😭

maaaan if i thought over the tracks was painful ...
i know ive forgotten a lot of the bad parts in this eeek

also the fact he asked brendon to sleep with jac that was so so horrible ughh

and spencer is like i hope you get over him soon and ryan is like :0

and then he's like brendon was falling in love with me i cant breathe and then he starts driving and he's like i wanted him to love me and then yeah. we know how it ends .

i forgot how cruel ryan is in this book :/ calling everyone slurs because he's in denial . he cant take how he was fine before brendon but now he's starting feeling things for me and brendon was falling in love with him and ryan is like that's pathetic

and the fact he thought that brendon would come to the sanfran show and of course he would forgive him but there was zero chance he would

'his hand moves up my arm to my shoulder, fingers brushing against my neck. “if you honestly think you’re not living, then it’s not like you’ve run out of time yet,” he whispers quietly'

'somehow, right then, he feels like the only thing in the world that’s ever made any sense to me'

and then they hug and ry doesnt want to let go and so they hold hands until they get off the bus :(

jackie and mrs roscoe :(((

'now i realise that 'secret' is just a word given for uncomfortable truths we don't want to share in fear of what they say about us'

'fucking on the job. unprofessional if you ask me'
'what on earth would possess anyone to do such a thing'

oh man i dont have a lot left things get bad and then things get worse in the next book

'you should go back to his place and have the gayest time you've ever had in your life' will never not be iconic and ryan being like nothing is wrong with you brendon im screaming crying and throwing up and then brendon feels slightly better after ryan says that to himmmmmm aaaaaaaaaaaaahsdfdjsduhj

and the kiss they share in the bathroom and 'god, he'll be the death of me' ...

brendon wearing a white t-shirt and bell bottom jeans and ryan is like thats so basic but he's so hotttt

okay ryan is totally not gay ...

finally ry reveals what he knows about brendon when they run into his dad and brendon is like :0 but okay sure bro ..

+ then ryan reveals spencer's family and brent is like how could you do this to jac ... wowie .

+then ryan quits and then so does everyone else but they still play the show. why. because they're professionals .

and ryan is glad that he and spencer are both going down together...

not ryan being like okay ive got to break up with brendon even tho we're not together + you cant be in a relationship with another man

aw brendon is a cute drunk and he is like are you trying to seduce me but ryan is like i clearly dont have to #real but oopsie now joe knows about them 3

ryan kicking out girls in the middle of sex because he wasnt feeling . bestie its because you're gay im sorry to tell you.

not brent being like yeah we all saaay theyre sleeping together but theyre not actually and spencer confirming it eeek

when theyre sleeping in ryan's bed on the bus and cuddled up and they kiss softly 3 3 3 3

the big pete knows reveal !! and brendon is like maybe it was spencer but ryan is like no way i have smth on him ...

i forgot how pete actually finds out about them though ... not that theyre very discreet but still .

ryan and brendon brushing fingers before heading outside of their room 3

ryan has really been paying attention to brendon + knows his favourite cereal

brendon being sad, ryan being like fuck, spencer being like oh boyyy nothing good can come of this ..

+then ryan jumping to conclusions brendon has left + being super pissed, but oh no phew he's still here

+pete is like interesting both of these guys didnt sleep

every time ryan kisses brendon agressively i-

also ryan wanting to kiss brendon goodnight but its not part of their casual sex agreement so he's like ugh nevermind #heartbroken #noiamnotinlovewithanymorespencerwdym ....

'still there is nothing peaceful about brendon: whenever he walks into the room, a war is declared inside me'

'you know, not everything is about you. does that ever occur to you?'
not really, no.

ryan its not about your one night stand he's not as obessed with you as you are with him sorry to say bestie 3

ryan spiralling +being like i dont care about brendon pfft im famous i dont have to care about anything did brendon think i would care because i dont??

and then he see's him + his heart starts beating faster +he's mean to him +he's like did he not think we would be worrying about him !?!? did he not think ?!!? we're going out of our minds !?! we all know we means i .

also ryan running into jon at the airport #pain

also we're not gunna talk about what happens at the end of chapter 10 when ryan is imagining what the worst that could happen if he spent the tour break with brendon back in la ... no we're not gunna talk about it ... truly horific .

i made it past where i got the 2nd to last time i tried to reread this - chapter 10!!! woo now we're cooking w gas and im gunna finish this !!

'let's get that negative energy out!'

'i try to enjoy being in this band, but you make it practically impossible'

'then i quit'

'whoah! too much negative energy'

will never not be iconic haha pete is so funny

oh man brendon biting his lip telling ryan he looks good and ryan can't handle it and says he looks good too ....

'and pete will go back to his place of origin: hell' lmaooo

okay ryan has been given permission to sleep with a guy by eric ...

oh boy now brent dedicates a song to jac... ryan you truly are clueless/too focused on brendon to notice all of the signs...

okay brendon finally told him!! would he have found out without him ... probably not ... they would've broken up ... maybe even jac dumping ryan tbh

'so maybe i am attracted to him'
yes. yes you really are.

okay sure brendon is jealous and in love with you after he kissed you. more like the other way round bro

jac is missing and so is brent... interesting... very interesting..
then they return at the same time

and jac doesnt pretend to enjoy her time with ryan whilst wishing it was someone else like he does kdwjfhgj

i did think molly meeting leota again would go like that :O

gays!!<3

yay anya did great in her tests ‼️‼️

im enjoying this reread! i wanna finish this before getting back to throam