Szy > Recent Status Updates

too much consciousness destroys will and that if i believe that to have a will is the right way to life, but then again when you have the illness of awareness, then what? then one's become a madness? one would cage themself willingly to or chose to be locked in the underground, is that a way of life?

hear the wind sing
- p.66 if Rat is rich, 3 story bouse, benz and all. why did he talk of the rich and the poor as if he’s one of the poor? perhaps is he badmouthing himself as the rich? (15 jul)

‘from my own home, with beings that have been, of my own thought— what more could I have seen?’

The outside has no more meaning. And quite paradox-ically, even cubic dimensions have no more meaning, for the reason that a new dimension-the dimension of intimacy-has just opened up.

avdotya romanovna is after all a beggar (excuse me that’s not the word but does it matter if it express the meaning?)

yaps more*
‘Damn the wine! Hi! There! Water!’

‘There are insults, Avdotya Romanovna, which no goodwill can make us forget. There is a line in everything, which it is dangerous to overstep; and when it has been overstepped, there is no return.’ -luzhin pyotr (p.256)

to help others one must have the right to do it or else, Crevez, chiens, si vous n’êtes pas contents!’ ‘die, dogs, if you are not happy’ p.195

‘Well, what’s to be done now? How am I to bury him? What cab I gave them tomorrow to eat?’ -Katerina Ivanovna

Oh, mother

continue chapter ‘house and universe’
p59

'Oh, Nastenka! You know, we thank some people for merely living at the same time as we do. I thank you for the fact that I met you, that I will remember you for all my life!'

‘They say that the sun gives life to the universe. The sun will rise and - look at it, isn't it dead? Everything is dead, the dead are everywhere. There are only people, and all around them is silence - that's the earth. 'People, love one another' - who said that? Whose commandment is that? The pendulum ticks insensibly, disgustingly.’

1876

‘Inertia! Oh, nature! People are alone on this earth - that's the problem! 'Is there a man alive on the field?' the Russian bogatyr cries out. And I cry out as well, though I am not a bogatyr, and no one answers.’

‘Blind, she's blind! Dead, she doesn't hear! You don't know with what paradise I would have surrounded you. The paradise was in my soul; I would have planted it all round you!
Well, you wouldn't have loved me - so be it, what of it?
Everything would have been like that, everything would have stayed like that.’

‘—instead I acted, so to speak, with pride - I spoke almost silently. And I'm a master of speaking silently - all my life I've spoken silently and I've lived through entire tragedies in silence.’

‘was help at hand?’ ‘logic is doubtless unshakable, but it cannot withstand a man who wants to go on living.’

—people under suspicion are better moving than at rest, since at rest they may be sitting in the balance without knowing it, being weighed together with their sins.'

‘--that one feels like throwing the whole thing up and taking to bed with one's face to the wall. And of course that would be stupider still, for even in bed one wouldn't find peace.’

“—you only dared to make because you felt you had nothing to lose, and then they were your friends again.”

“to believe in the worst only when the worst happened,”

‘Surely it isn’t beginning already! surely it isn’t my punishment coming upon me? Is it?’

‘i would rather have scraped the roads, had i been you. what is money compared with a clear conscience?’

“and it is very cruel that you should be tossed and tantalised between your memories and your conscience—

“tell me, mr. murakami, what would you have done?“

ed.. mcbain,

sat in the breeze, cigarette in between her index and middle finger, with remorse she called out the night sky for taking her soulmate, hoping the cloud would reciprocate her, her familiar bitterness is written all over her face
- nov 4 . 24

i used to wail and scream for you, for your help because i am your daughter, therefore you have to help your own daughter, i’ve called you selfish. now, in a state of peace, i didn’t scream nor sob, my tears fell on its own while my heart stings because i love you too much.

it all started with a random pdf titled adult children written by a psychologist from virginia.

it all started w a random pdf that flashes experience about an emotionally immature parents