Brad Cook > Recent Status Updates

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!
WHAT?!?!

I'm sorry, but a demonically possessed vacuum cleaner? Am I supposed to believe that's possible?

I'll take two. I love him.

Totally forgot Aslan was a magical lion for a bit there.
Whoops.

Not The Deplorable Word!

Also. Jadis could get it. I know she's evil but like. She's mommy.

That's...convenient?
You'd think the wife of "the best lawyer" would know a bit more about how the law works. Withholding TWO pieces of evidence is gonna fuck you up.

I dunno man, if my kid was at the center of TWO separate missing person cases in six months, I'd be a bit more worried about that than who my new neighbor was. Damien might have a weird backstory and no social media, but your kid has been involved in TWO POTENTIAL KIDNAPPINGS. Momma, pay attention.

I might not know much, but I am pretty sure that two women, one of which was JUST ALMOST KILLED BY A MAN, would invite a brand-new male neighbor to their house. Self-preservation instincts of a lemming.

"A spell is not an app" is oddly good (and very specific) advice.

Omg theyre going to MOUNDSVILLE?!

"The chances of a dinosaur appearing in Ohio..."

"She looked like a sexy marshmallow" is my new favorite flirt.

Some friends, am I right?

WHAT

"This is Mortimer. He's the only cat in the house and I can't stand the goddamn thing."

This is so funny to me. I had to stop the book and update this IMMEDIATLY. I love this whole interaction so much.

Damn Avery. You okay? You're a little feral about that razor cut.

If I have to hear "I'll look that up later" one more time, I think I may cry lol

What even is happening? What's the plot? I just

I called it. I CALLED IT.

I asked one of my best friends daaaaays ago because I had a hunch and I was RIGHT.

Okay.

That's all, just okay.

I love a full cast audiobook, but can we maybe turn down the music? I'd LOVE to know what is happening.

Richard, you sly dog. You played me like a fiddle.

Chloe, I take back every bad thing I said about you.

Girly, why are you accusing your dad of this stuff? I thought y'all were tight and now you're out here saying stuff?

God lord, is the whole family just mentally unwell?

I knew that there was a reason to be scared of the little brat, I KNEW IT! Good lord, I could smell that coming from a mile away.

I hope a "love" like this never finds me.

Chloe and Richard can collectively kick rocks. Jo doesn't deserve this.

And I reiterate: Chloe is Gaslighting Royalty. I've never had so much second hand anger at someone before.

Gas. Light. Queen.

Okay.

1: a VERY reasonable crashout from Richard. I would have (and have!) done the same thing in that situation. Ya don't just tell the dude you're interested in stuff like that.

2: Chloe the Gaslight QUEEN. Reminds me of my mother tbh, even with the high pitched baby voice.