aj > Recent Status Updates

“The physical anxiety that accompanies chess events—exhibition games, tournaments—does not bear any meaningful relationship to the events themselves, except a chronological one: it arrives beforehand and goes away afterwards.” Me 🤝 Ivan 🤝 experiencing this and choosing to attempt solving it with espresso

never actually finished a sally rooney book but hopefully I will finish this one. I forgot that she writes kind of like she’s tying poems down in the shape of a novel and also that she never uses quotation marks. I actually have no idea what this book is about I didn’t even read the back lmao

I’m hitting both of them with hammers. I’m doing it with love though so it’s okay

this reread is going to take me Forever because every damn page brings me to tears… like what do you mean Fitz used to be six years old. he’s just a baby. somebody get in there and save him!!!!!!!

TWO direct percy jackson references

millennial joke made

mbalia: and Just in case you didn’t notice my snarky tween main character’s personality was inspired by a certain demigod I will provide one ☝️ direct percy jackson reference

There is a lot of plot in this. So much plot. Dare I say an excessive amount of plot. What is happening

so far the most unrealistic part of this children’s fantasy book about ghost trains is a sixth grader knowing the phrase “intergenerational trauma”

this fantasy book has the most realistic depiction of an eleven year old boy I have seen in a while simply for the fact that said boy was easily bribed with Nike gift cards

“Since… I’m sure no one here… knows stuff like Radiohead…” oh girl <3

oh so this is kind of awesome

AND WHAT ABOUT IT.

today someone said the word “ennui” in my vicinity and I had a genuine emotional response to it because it reminded me of a scene from this trilogy in which that word is said. everyone say goodbye to the version of me that exists before the end of this book

Pausing one last time before the end. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt like this about a story. I’ve cried straight through the last hundred pages. Cycles and circles and changes…

I actually can’t do this rn thank god I don’t have to actually teach tomorrow because my afternoon plans include finishing this book while sobbing so hard I throw up

“The part of her that had been a living thing became a prelude to dirt.” bee. my love. you’re freaking me out <3

“You should know, if she must choose a death, she chooses yours. Because she believes it is what you would wish.” WHAT THE FUCK

having a top 5 mad at Fitz moment I need to quit for the night

so fitz let me just get this straight. you know that your childhood bestie is sometimes a woman and you argue to other people that you accept this and they should too. but you believe that the bestie is a man when they’re nice to you and a woman when they’re being manipulative and mean. and you think they’re kinda beautiful as a woman but only attractive in a bro way when they’re a man. let’s unpack this

fitzchivalry farseer you’re just like my dad if my dad did cocaine once and a while

oh so it’s. it’s called fool’s assassin because fitz stabs him. because fitz assassinates the fool. Got it. Fool’s Assassin. Okay

BELOVED FOOL? IS THAT YOU?

the fact that this book is called fool’s assassin is absurd primarily because I have only 100 pages left and have still not seen the fool in question. but also because fitz thinks about said fool enough that the title fool’s assassin is still accurate

“One always falls back on one’s strongest talents in time of distress. So I lied.”

Oh so we’re telling jokes now. Got it

one of my book related hot (probably lukewarm) takes is that sometimes the book is Worse than the movie. I believe this about many Stephen King books. At page 113 of this book I believe with like 70% certainty that I will like the movie much better! also the !? punctuation mark is maybe my number one writing pet peeve and I think all editors should eliminate it whenever possible

I miss the Fool so bad and so does Fitz but I almost don’t want him to come back… at this point I can almost imagine a real future where Fitz moves on and builds a real relationship with his daughter and they both find some kind of happiness despite their losses… but I know the Fool is going to bring the Plot back with him and eventually Fitz’s death. Which is exactly why he left in the first place… ugh <3

ALTERNATE PERSPECTIVE? BEE FARSEER POV IN MY FITZCHIVALRY FARSEER POV BOOK? THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE ? HELLO

FITZCHIVALRY STOP LYING TO YOUR WIFE CHALLENGE also I need to talk to you. you feel like you can tell your worries about your child to your “best friend” you haven’t talked to in 17 years and expect him not to hate you for them but you don’t feel the same about your wife. we need to discuss in depth both your love for your “friend” as well as your subconscious misogyny. fitzchivalry are you listening

I know the book is literally called Fool’s Assassin but a character has never haunted a narrative like the Fool is currently haunting this one. also YAY BABY BEE <3 I hope to god fitz has gotten better at parenting since raising Hap