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Southerners were bewildered by the loss and faced a test of faith while northerners were reinforced in their conviction that lives had not been lost in vain. Churches grew rapidly in the south after the war, celebration of Confederate memory in ensuing decades were part of a big effort to affirm that the young lives were not lost in vain.

I know I’m applying 2026 morals on a book written in 92, but I’m baffled that homosexuality was portrayed as a part of the “degeneracy” of this group of people, along with incest, murder, elitism…

•”worry may lead to planning and problem solving[…]but worry is not the same as problem solving”
•anterior cingulate cortex stuck in a loop in “faulty worry circuit” has trouble shifting away from worrying and on to problem solving
•“survival of the busiest”—to decrease the likelihood of a thought, you have to just stop thinking it. Arguing against obsessions and worries only strengthens them.

•cortex makes up interpretations that could be true or false, when false it activates amygdala unnecessarily
•most people have frequent intrusive thoughts, OCD brain just focuses more on the meaning of thoughts (while they have no meaning), cortex creates interpretations that cause anxiety which reinforces the belief of being in danger
•amygdala has more influence and control over mood and feelings than cortex

•cortex creates thoughts, images and interpretations of sensory information (or without) that tells amygdala there is danger
•OCD brain tends to think thoughts=danger
•cognitive fusion: believing in the absolute truth of mere thoughts (so that’s what’s driving me crazy for 30 years omg)
•do not take every thought seriously, cortex is gaslighting me

Richard’s inability to be angry at Bunny is a relatable feeling. Bunny is charming and sadistic, almost like narcissist traits? Makes one want to appease.

•1860s rise of spiritualism-ouija board, books, magazines, group meetings
•”The Gates Ajar” promised the notion that heaven is a more perfect earth, an extension of earthly world

•worry and obsessions
•pathway 1: thalamus->amygdala, fast reaction to danger and threat, pathway 2: thalamus->cortex->amygdala, cortex processes sensory info first
•OCD brain focus on ways of reducing anxiety rather than reducing intrusive thoughts
•neuroplasticity

The dissociation of everyone’s communication is finally making some sense, and the book finally starts to feel more self aware with the conversation about blue collar Vermonters hating rich college kids. Still annoyed with the heavy academia references without explanations…I know it’s the point but as a reader I just feel left out

•Death was reconceptualized as transition to a different life rather than an end, soldiers sought it over the battlefields. “Redefined as eternal life, death was celebrated in mid-nineteenth-century America.”
•Swedenborg’s Heaven and Hell in 1758 marked origin of movement away from the idea of heaven being far away/theocentric, but a modern notion of heaven being the same world except in its perfection

•conflict between religious beliefs and new scientific discoveries led to increasing questions about what happens after death.
•some argued religion enabled the slaughter—“confidence in immortality could encourage soldiers to risk annihilation”, “firm conviction could yield confidence that bordered heartlessness”. Christian soldiers contributed more to the war machine bc of the lack of fear of death.

Idk how to feel about this book rn, usually when a movie or book has unlikable characters the cynicism is obvious but with this book I can’t tell where the author stands and maybe that’s interesting

•during first reconstruction, main motivators for overthrowing Jim Crow were: juxtaposition of the existence of Jim Crow and our opposition to the crimes against Jews made us look embarrassing; fear of AA susceptibility to communist influence without greater equality, with Russia’s commitment to racial and economic equality. (all this feels SO American lol, performative and idealistic instead of really caring)

Industrial farming relies on pesticide because modern agriculture use clones of plants (vs indigenous agriculture modify plants to fit the land) and monocultures are more susceptible to pest outbreaks. Biodiverse gardens foster predatory insects and easily flourish without pesticides.

•convicts have no legal rights/“slave of the state”-> court costs that need to be worked off for release-> convict leasing
•Populist Party (black and poor whites against elite class) offered AA the most promise and achieved great success, yet was deliberately destructed by elite class like Bacon’s Rebellion. History repeated itself and class consciousness was always successfully oppressed.

Starting to pity Lorena and her insecurity, her change makes a lot of sense as a result of where she stands in society in respective of Clara’s story. I have felt like both Lorena and Clara in different stages of my life.

“If you only come face-to-face with your own mistakes once or twice in your life it’s bound to be extra painful. I face mine every day—that way they ain’t usually much worse than a dry shave”

Hedonism and addictions led Jake astray to the other end of justice, costing his life

Sally Skull and Jake gravitate towards instant gratification, Gus lives in the moment, and Call lives for the future, aloof

•the language of the Constitution was deliberately “colorblind”. Federalism and Electoral College were designed to keep federal gov’t weak and protect the institution of slavery in southern states.
•Black codes: Vagrancy laws—criminal offense to AA over age of 18 without a job, another way of forced labor bc they’re forced to work for little or no pay/prisoners sent to plantations and private companies

God it’s getting so sad…Joe being killed by the butt of the gun Augustus gave him

•Indentured servants of all races united during Bacon’s Rebellion against planter elites; planter class started “racial bribe” to poor whites to drive a wedge between poor whites and blacks—birth of slave catchers. They extended privileges to poor whites to raise their personal stakes in race-based slavery. THIS ALL HAPPENED BEFORE 1770. Racial caste system predates our democracy.

•racism’s new rhetoric/language to adapt social changes and have plausible deniability when challenged (preservation through transformation)

•War on Drugs was declared as illegal drug use was on the decline, soon after arrests of AA for drug crime spiked unnaturally.
•US has highest incarceration rate in the world.
•people of all colors use and sell illegal drugs at similar rates, white youth more likely to engage in drug crime than POC. Black men charged with drug crime 20-50 times more than white men.

“In a consumer society, contentment is a radical proposition. Recognizing abundance rather than scarcity undermines an economy that thrives by creating unmet desires. Gratitude cultivates an ethic of fullness, but the economy needs emptiness.”

Witch hazel chapter is so touching

Really liking the Cal finding mother arc, both the changes in him and changes in Cathy

So insightful and inspiring. Native culture is ingrained in the symbiotic relationship with nature and the sense of community, so much that “please” doesn’t exist in Potawatomi because everything is meant to be shared and things from nature cannot be commodified. All cores are anti-capitalism&Christianity: no over consumption; holistic view of nature compared to Christian government’s science superiority.

The Samuel and Lee dialogue is strangely insightful given the frequent casual racism in this book since it was written in 1952