ellie > Recent Status Updates

not to make everything about them but fitzloved cathedrals are everywhere for those with eyes to see [gunshot]

let’s free my girl tintaglia from a toxic relationship with icefyre, she gave and gave and got nothing back, that’s a typical man and he doesn’t deserve such a cunty name #teamkalo

“You could call me Glory’s Master. Or Silver Rider.” “No. I think not,” he said, and amusement shimmered in the rumbling voice. “I think I will name you “Meat”.
Then the creature turned his head sideways, his jaws opened wide and the gleaming teeth and brilliantly coloured maw came at Hest.”

wheezed, kalo you became one of my elite dragon employees

hest finbok is about to join regal and kyle haven in hell where satan will shove a skewer up his ass and fry him like a kebab

i’m being rage baited by chalcedeans again, that cursed place needs to be nuked asap cause they’re always at the scene of crime

are you ready to fucking DIE kennit ludluck

“Rapskal thinks I’ll fly.”
Tats sighed. “Rapskal thinks that he and Heeby will visit the moon some day.”

god forbid the guy is whimsical, whatever happened to fun? anyways coming out as a rapskal and heeby enjoyer

alise genuinely has the worst gaydar ever, she can’t even catch a hint 😭

kyle haven i am going to murder you. i’m going to waterboard you. i’m going to feed you to the sea snakes piece by piece. i’m going to put you in an acidic river and watch you dissolve, i will make you cry you nasty goblin dog looking piece of trash

relapsed, family i missed you so much 🫶🏻

the main character is frustrating the fuck out of me, i know he’s just a kid but he’s lowkey evil?

“to fitz and the fool. my best friends for over twenty years.” immediately teared up, brother i may not get out of this alive

“my dream was dead in my arms” why don’t you just chainsaw me in half already

they warn you about cocaine but nobody warns you about fitzloved

keep tearing up at every fitz and nighteyes moment i genuinely feel like ending it all

why was this advertised as a heart warming read, this shit is heartbreaking bro i’m literally crying? @ goodreads bitch i’ll k1ll you

fear men. fear conservative religious men. fear dumb women that obey men. and please don’t let them procreate

vampires used to be menacing. they had an aura, they had a style. being a vampire used to mean something!

the cunt of monte cristo is being served, this amount of meticulous scheming for the sake of vengeance is admirable to those that tend to their grudges like little pets (me)

the master and margarita’s devil is younger, cuntier and more beautiful

the dysfunctional chaotic group dynamic and the banter between the characters are truly hilarious, i have to give 10s when 10s are due

michele is truly insidious, each time he circles around lila i hear a menacing jaws theme song playing in my head

nino hating donato so much while simultaneously being exactly the same as his nasty father will never not be funny to me, pot to kettle. sarratore men, you will always be hated by me!

ophelia is such a diva

damn, i thought this was a classy party

we need to start forcing people to pass exams and have serious psych evaluations before allowing them to have children

me when i arrive in hell: are you ready to die for the second time nino sarratore

one of the characters being called lenin evermore keeps making me giggle, i can’t take it seriously 😭

wow you can never trust white people