caligula > Recent Status Updates

made an internet archive account just to read these sick vintage gothic romance books for free

yall have no idea how excited i am to finish this book and finally have it out of my life

is mona awad genuinely playing a game of how many times she can fit the word “bonobo” into her book specifically in the last ten pages because holy fucking shit

ok “Elf porn’s hot #realtalk #amwriting” is kind of epic that did make me laugh icl

I CANNOT READ THIS GODFORSAKEN BOOK AS I AM TOO DISTRACTED BY THE CONSTANT NICKNAMES FOR THINGS. “we’re in the car he calls the Whale” HOW IS THIS DRIVING THE PLOT. HOW IS THIS DEVELOPING THE CHARACTERS OR STORY. ENOUGH. IM BEGGING YOU

well that whole section of strictly replacing the “I, me, my” pronoun with “us, we, ours” mildly annoyed me after like three pages. and I thought the whole “samantha is described as being in a literal actual trance unable to recognize ava until she has a cliche memory flashback and says her name dramatically” thing was also annoying. this book is just perpetually annoying to varying degrees

im actually so fucking pissed off by this book. am I supposed to feel sympathy for this abysmally terrible narrator mourning her dear mentor and probable pedophile’s suicide? the way his countless affairs with his college students are detailed for probably the entire 30 pages I’ve been reading this horrid book? the way the narrator refers to his wives as wife 1, 2, and 3? so fucking gross im shuddering

My negative opinion of this book is already bettering that I’m on part two and I think it’s because I was insanely annoyed by Samantha in part one. She lacked any interesting qualities and had an (pls forgive me) im not like other girls energy, she had ZERO personality other than condescension, she just annoyed the shit out of me. She’s slightly better as a bunny now that she’s not so nothingburger.

OH MY FUCKING GOD ENOUGH WITH THE “this is a thing but we call it [quirky nickname that is probably a niche literature reference]” WE GET IT HOLY SHIT WHATS THE POINT

feels like it’s trying too hard to be witty and satirical. I am constantly reminded of how im supposedly reading a satire/“weird girl” book. idk how much more I can take of sentences loaded with confusing, unnecessary, and overly sarcastic metaphors and similes. it’s such a mouthful but in the form of words on paper