Ash Olson > Recent Status Updates

“You are my home”

Send help. Or lotion

I LOVE A GOOD BELT 🤪✨🤪

Okay…. What the fuck is going on… I’m lost

I’m gonna throw up. Or jump a bridge. Or throw up while I’m a jumping a bridge. Omg. I need to take a break 😅😅😅😅😅😅

EXCUSE THE FUCK OUT OF ME!?!?!?

SHUT THE FUCK UP. WHAT IN THE MUTHAFUK. NO BRO. WHAT IS IN THIS!?!?

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

This is…. Keeping me entertained 👀

I've already cried 3 times .....

Bruh.. the miscommunication is so bad I’m about to start communicating with God instead. Because clearly THAT’S the only conversation anyone is having😩😩😩😩

“You suck so well sweetheart”

ITS TOO EARLY FOR THIS 😩

Strapped her down to the gurney????

MANNNNNN time to go visit hubby at work so we can try 🤪

“That’s my good girl”

YUPPPPP THATLL DO IT!!! ALLOW ME TO SIT AND SPIN CAL

THEY DOIN IT IN AN AMBALAMMM!?!?!

I need to give Ronan a hug 😩☹️

“Eyes on me”

💦💦💦💦

I hate men so bad I might start hissing when one walks by 😤😡

53% and this man just turned sex into an arts & crafts project. Michelangelo could never 🤭

I’m so sick 😭

six foot seven??

sir I am legally required to climb you like a ladder to salvation. 🪜🔥

Already…. KYLIEEEEEE 🥺

I think this may be the first time I’ve guessed a Freida plot twist correctly 😅

Okay it’s picking up🤪

I’ve said “DAMN!” About 5 times now

I don’t know what it is, but it’s like I’m kind of bored, but I’m also so intrigued to know what happens and I know it’s gonna take a little bit to pick up so hopefully this gets better 😭

WHOS YO DADDYY 🤪

just 15% in and this book said “let’s ruin her day”

mission fucking accomplished 😭

“Want some company?”

“Yeah you wanna wipe my ass for me?”

“Wipe it, smack it, f*ck it”

WOOF WOOF RO 😏😩

“how can I not have drool on my face when I’m picturing you sitting on it?”

OKAY ROLAND 😏

My poor baby Silas 😭

I can’t put this down… WHAT IS IN THIS

“however, my desire had nothing to do with the caring about magic and everything to do with getting laid”

OK QUEEN GO AWF