Elisa > Recent Status Updates

“i am astounded at the unlikelihood of bringing my children to a place so remote and still having something so terrible happen to her” THE BEAAAARRRRRRRR EVERY WOMAN WOULD CHOOSE THE GODDAMN BEAR

eeewwwwwww disturbing revelation …… gross men

sweet moment with fen and dom 🥲

“when we wake its because our tummies are rumbling with hunger” sorry the use of the word“tummies” was jarring right after the sex scene.

nova scotia mention!!!!!!

“some fucking ape slapped me like i was his wife” sorry that made me chuckle. ik hes a bad guy but barbary is funny to me i feel like there could he a side story abt him

toronto mention!

can rowan just chill and let her wounds heal bro. she is ripping apart her stitches every other day. also the thought of crying at night from immense grief and then my dad telling me to get up and go upstairs to punch a bag like id be pissed. i dont think that is the solution dom

so much ANGST helena girl BE NICER TO HIMMMM UR HURTING HIMMM 😭😭😭😭 hes just trying to protect you omfg 😭😭😭😭😭😭

KAINES SO SEXXXYYYYY AND CAPABLE UGHHHH yeah he came in with lila DUHHH

“then use me” HEHEHE LOVE THIS TROPE SRY

HEHEHEHE he let her yap for an HOUR then gave her a christmas present HEHEHEHE

sry i’m just thinking about how if helena was catherine from wuthering heights she WOULD find a way to kill herself 🤣

when i think about it alice is really giving doctor strange in infinity war when she’s looking at the future w the volturi 😆

“or you can tell me about twilight” HES A KEEPER ELSIE!

GET HIMMM CATHY GET HIMMMM READ HIM FOR FILTH 🤏🤏🤏🤏🤏

ilya on ottawa now is actually tragic 🤣😭😭

omg bellas patience is better than mine. the way everyone is dictating and telling her how shes gonna act towards her own daughter like SHUT UPPPP !!!!! GIVE HER HER DAMN DAUGHTER!!!! her crashout towards jacob is soooooo valid i fr wouldve ripped him a new one. bella better than me 😭

“his cleft chin clefted majestically” im gonna interpret this as a way of showing osric’s ego and silliness cause this line is too unserious 😭 and it was like the 3rd time there was a silly line like this so early in the book like 🤣

COCAINE BEAR REFERENCE 🐻

not the renesmee mention 🤣🤣 a woman of culture fr

“carry yourself w the confidence of a mediocre white man” literally soooo tea ali 🤏🤏🤏

“go back to canada where it snows all the time and people eat moose hearts” ali what??? this seems like a hate crime

renesmee is acc a freak. conscious thought while in the womb and she BITES BELLA straight out of the womb??? LIKE WHAT

sorry but how is rosalie x jacob not a known/popular ship? theyd make such a good enemies to lovers story 🤣🤣🤣

oh theyre making rosalie’s motivation for defending bella all about the *baby* itself and not rlly about supporting bellas *decision*…. idk that didnt rlly come across in the movie. it seems more selfish in the books 😵‍💫

what is it with emily henry and mentioning canadian provinces. first ns in happy place, then BC in people we meet, now pei 🤣 i had to check if shes canadian or not but shes not!!

I LOVE SETH 😭🫶🫶 such a cutie omfg

jacobs actually so funny. love him. the drama between edward wanting to save bella vs rosalie and bella wanting to keep the baby is actually a lot more sad tho in the book. like its rlly killing edward, and bella is “scared” of being alone w him now 😢 but hes STILL trying to prioritize and protect her feelings 😭

meyers said NO SMUT! respect queen 🤣 the bruises talk though BLERGHHHHHHH ENOUGH!