౨ৎ Iris ౨ৎ > Recent Status Updates

Ispotted Brad and Benny at the back of the restaurant and made my way over.

“Finally,” Brad said as I slid into the maroon booth. “You know some of us have limited lunch breaks, dick.”

“Sorry, I had to give Brad his dewormer. I brought some for you too. Faith said you’ve been dragging your ass on the carpet?”
...
HELPPPPPP IM DYINGGG BRAD IS HIS DOG

I’d thought long and hard about what I wanted to say. And what I’d come up with felt exactly right.

I looked her in the eye. “Briana, I agree to be harmless to you.”

She smiled, because she knew that was all of it. It was the only promise she needed to hear.

It was her turn. She gave me a wry grin. “Jacob, I agree to be harmless to you.”
....
AWWWW MY HEARTTTTTT

…Seeing her so happy when she heard the news made everything I’ll go through worth it for that one moment alone…
.
…I feel my heart twisting around her in a way that is completely out of my control and can never be undone. I can’t put it away and I can’t unknow it and I can’t slow it down. I don’t even want to…
.

…Seeing her so happy when she heard the news made everything I’ll go through worth it for that one moment alone…
.
…I feel my heart twisting around her in a way that is completely out of my control and can never be undone. I can’t put it away and I can’t unknow it and I can’t slow it down. I don’t even want to…
.

…Seeing her so happy when she heard the news made everything I’ll go through worth it for that one moment alone…
.
…I feel my heart twisting around her in a way that is completely out of my control and can never be undone. I can’t put it away and I can’t unknow it and I can’t slow it down. I don’t even want to…
.

Amy and Jeremiah were making some sort of announcement. I was in a fish tank.

I could see Amy’s mouth moving. “We’re having a baby.”

And then I was conscious of everyone’s eyes darting to me and I said the only thing I could think of saying because I had to get the hell out of there. “In this economy?”

Then I fled from the room while I could still make my legs carry me.
...
kill me NOW

the miscommunication is killing me

omfg bri is pissing me off so bad

I cleared my throat. “This is my girlfriend,” I managed.

“I know!” Amy said, a little too brightly. “They told us you had one. We couldn’t believe it.”

I don’t think she meant it to come out like that, but it did. I felt Briana tense next to me.

“I know what you mean,” Briana said curtly. “When Jacob told me what this party was for, I couldn’t believe that either.”
...
I. love. her.

“I always think that when we’re quiet, we’re agreeing to be harmless to each other. That we’re just sharing the same space and letting each other exist exactly as we are, and neither of us would hurt or upset the other one.”

I was going to do anything he needed to make this fake-girlfriend thing work. I was about to put on an Oscar-worthy performance the likes of which Hollywood has never seen. I was so committed I would tattoo his name across my boob. Pose for fake engagement photos if he wanted them. Hell, I’d fake a damn wedding.
...
I'M DYING OMFG

Lieutenant Dan was a rescue with behavioral problems, and I grew up with a parrot. A thirty-year-old African gray named Jafar. He’s a bit of a jerk. He knocks things over and then blames the cat. He also likes the word (and you’re going to have to excuse the language here) “motherfucker,” so sometimes we’re treated to the sound of shattering glass followed by “The cat did it, motherfucker!”
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IM DYING LMFAOOOOOOOOO

do you guys watch love island??

i love Jacob's family they're so sweet (his brother is an a-hole tho cuz wtf dude)

“I can’t watch you walk out the door on me, Manson. I don’t care what you have to do to stay. I’ll listen to you yell all damn day if you need to. Just don’t walk out on me.”

Finally, I heard a smile in his voice. “Good girl. All right, I’ll talk to you soon. L—” He cut off abruptly and cleared his throat, as if he’d stumbled over the word. “Later.”
...
WAS HE GONNA SAY LOVE YOU??? UGHHHHHHH

"You’re beautiful,” he said. “How other people look couldn’t ever change that.”

How my family expect me to laugh at their joke when they literally pointed out my worst insecurities in their joke:

https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2l...

page 96.

AWWWW I LOVE MANSON SMMMMMM

OKAY MANSON IS DEF MY FAV UGHHHH

he's 5'7...?

unpopular opinion: online school actually sucks

finished it in under 2 hours- rtc

She waved. “Hi. I’m Everleigh.”

A wide smile crossed the man’s face. “So this is the famous Trouble we’ve all heard so much about.”


“Nah.” He chuckled, eyes flitting over her shoulder. “Brantley won’t shut up about you. This whole week, it’s been nothing butTrouble thisandTrouble that—”
...
IM DYING THIS BOOK IS SO MUCH BETTER

the cure by OR is my new fav song now

BUT MY HEAD IS FULL OF POISON AAND MY HEART FULL OF DOUBT
I GOT TOXINS IN MY BLOODSTREAMS, YOU TRIED HARD TO SUCK EM OUT, AND IT FEELS LIKE MEDICATION, ITS GOOD FOR ME IM SURE BUT IT DON'T MATTER HOW YOUR LOVE FEELS ANYMORE
ITLL NEVER BE THE CUUUUUUUUUUURE