Kamala Dixon > Recent Status Updates

His own actions, which now seem so wrong as to be morally illegible. At least if you kill someone you have a motive. What on earth is he doing, what has he done.

in over his head, fathoms over, and something has to be done. how capable he has been of holding in his mind with no apparent struggle such contradictory beliefs and feelings. the false true lover, the cynical idealist, the atheist at his prayers. everything lethally intermixed, everything breaching its boundaries, nothing staying in its right place.

Language doesn’t fit onto reality like a toy fitting into a slot. Reality is actually one thing and language something else. You just have to agree with yourself not to think about it too much.

for a moment he considers this question: whether it is a good idea for them to see each other again. is it different, to want something, and to think the wanted thing is a good idea?

‘from that so firmly suppressed feeling, present all along, that when he looks at her, when he speaks to her, he is addressing not only the superficial but also the deep concealed parts of her personality- without meaning to, without knowing how not to. looking at her, his eyes communicate: i know that you are a person with desires, and so am i, even if i am helpless to do anything about this knowledge.’

read 10 pages on the beach but forgot to log