Aída > Recent Status Updates

About 100 pages in.
I’m surprised to be enjoying Kafka’s diary more than I expected. He’s writing more, still tired and restless, but also moving through the world, watching plays, wandering at night, recording strange and sometimes unintentionally funny moments. What I like most is the contrast between his chaotic inner life and how clearly he can write for work. These pages feel less heavy and more alive.

50 pages in.
Reading Kafka’s diary feels less like reading and more like standing close to someone else’s pain. His loneliness is easy to feel, and so is how much he ties his worth to writing. When the words don’t come, he turns against himself. Some entries feel like a closed loop: I can’t write. I am worthless. I must write. I can’t write. He punishes himself in advance so reality doesn’t have to.

Honesty without tenderness is hard to sit with…

I’m reading for the hope of it all…

I wasn’t planning to read it right now, but I’m having trouble sleeping, and some lessons about living only reveal themselves when we dare to look at death…

Alright. I’m not afraid to admit that my first impressions of this lady were deeply and utterly wrong. She won me over with White Heron Rises Over Blackwater.

“He is exactly the poem I wanted to write.” 🥺✨

Me: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

I was lost between the blue horse, bird feeding, and the ocean. I think I’m finally finding my way back. Evidence (2009) is leading me to more starts, for sure.

Ouch…?