Jules Amstutz > Recent Status Updates

I love this book so much I have started avoiding it, good read

Pretty good, it’s a light read so far

"When we stop focusing on the imperfections of our coping mechanisms and can validate their valiant and necessary efforts. Then, and only then, will those old protectors step aside, allowing space for another way." (pg. 32) The two chapter I've read have convinced me that maybe I shouldn't shame myself every time I have a trauma response. At one time, they kept me safe and now I need to accept them so they go away.

I can't believe I'm almost finished with WMBK. I have annotated it to hell and back and it's been a journey of self discovery that I will be continuing through reading other books and finally pursing EMDR Therapy. This book made me realize that I do not remember a few things here and there and it's not the end of the world if I do not remember them—but i do need to heal from them, and I will someday down the line.

I did not realize just how much of an impact being a parentified only child can have on you. Love that this book brings it but but it fails to mention how to stop apologizing for things that are not your fault. Fawning may be my biggest symptom tbh

The tension in my right shoulder could be from PTSD; and I never even considered it. I need to start tracking what I was doing prior to certain aces and pains starting 'out of nowhere' when well, it's pretty obvious that nothing comes from nothing, something comes from something etc.

So apparently my identity issues aren't from out of nowhere??!?
To finally have words to the feelings of not knowing where the fawning ends and I begin is validating to everything I've been experiencing. It's been there for damn near my whole life, but it's nice to know that it's not just me, stuck people pleasing for danger that doesn't exist anymore. Fawning was necessary for survival, but now it's a burden.

So I definitely need to re-read the last two pages cause I need to process them a lil further

This explains so much of my individual experiences that I've had with the education system. Also, it makes me feel a lot better for failing Algebra I-A three times before graduating high school. It's not built for visual thinkers to comprehend, much like other parts of education. Also this explains why I did so much better in classes that had hands on learning or PowerPoints that contained many images and diagrams.

I had to stop at page 8 for the night. Some serious reflecting and processing need to take place before continuing to read this, because holy hell I didn't know the actual definition of grooming. The book is uncomfortable to read, but this is a good thing. I need to read and think about my tendency to gravitate towards bad people with power over me. Much needed contemplation and confrontation within myself.

This is a casual read when I’m on-the-go. (I got it in a special font that’s easier for my dyslexia so I can actually set it down and not have to restart a chapter)

The prologue has me hooked, that’s for sure

My current comfort read as I’ve been coming to terms with the whole ‘never experiencing unconditional love from anyone, not even a parent’ thing. A quote that hit hard from the most recent chunk I’ve read is “But the sadness of a lost childhood feels like yearning, impossible desire. It feels like a hollow, insatiable hunger. I'd spent my life telling myself I didn't need a mommy or a daddy…” (Ch. 33)