sarah > Recent Status Updates

“One of our programmers even stands for some quick flossing.”
I’ll never get over the random, super cringe, one off lines- love ali hazelwood!

only took 3% to mention how tall he was! might be a new record

“i wish there were hints that he’s a closeted brony, or an avid collector of genital casts,”
never in my 19 years of living did i think i’d see the word brony used in a published piece of fiction, but here we are

“her “boyfriend,” in the meantime, was sullenly sipping his chamomile tea next to her… he’d make for an excellent viral meme” CHARLIE KIRK MINT MAJESTY TEA INCIDENT CIRCA B.K (BEFORE KIRK) 2025

“maybe it was because he was as tall as mount everest and his shoulders were just as large” im picturing kingpin from spider-man 😭😭

guys i’m so fucking scared rn

atp make this wlw #miserena

god i’m shaking with anticipation

“i hate you,” i whisper before he can speak.
he tilts my face to his.
“say it again,”

“longer and better than i’ve loved you” now why would you say that