Cissy > Recent Status Updates

"Hermione…please. "You're not a killer." Amarov tried to look at her again, but was thwarted when Draco grabbed his hair to hold his head still.
"You will never see her or speak to her ever again, you son of a bitch. And she doesn't need to be a killer," Draco said, before pistol-whipping Amarov. "She has me."
- chapter 36

Currently on chapter 42 out of 84. First chapter was AMAZING, the it got progressively worse. I’m reading the book in Italian from someone who translated it so I must say, it doesn’t help at all that all the verbs are wrong but apart from that it does get better again at some point, but I just found the entire plot on the ship extremely boring, apart from the few last chapters.

First chapter is honestly kinda cringe, too many stuff happening all at once, very rushed, I’m not expecting much from this ff

Don’t talk to me I’m crying.

I’d like to comfort myself by thinking that Alchemised is the diary Helena wrote, which Enid published after her parents’ death to reclaim her mother and father’s names + I need a continuation about Enid and Apollo now. 😭

"Love isn't as pretty or pure as people like to think. There's a darkness in it sometimes. Kaine and I go hand in hand. I made him who he is. I knew what that array meant when I saved him. If he's a monster, then I'm his creator."
Chapter 77; page 1059

I just finished chapter 71, page 978. At this point I’m the one being tortured not Helena, stop this madness, I’m gonna have ptsd after living this war 🥀

“I don't want to choose. I always have to choose, and I never get to choose you”
- chapter 69, page 950

I’ve finished Chapter 64, page 880. There are SO many plot twists (also some different from Manacled). I want to say so much, but I don’t want to spoil anything. All I’ll say is I’ve already cried and been completely shocked, so I’ll just leave this here:

“If I don’t come back… if you ever see Ferron, tell him… tell him that…” […] “Never mind. I suppose he knows.”

I knew from the beginning that the “good guys” were going to lose the war, but actually watching it happen is a completely different thing, and every time, just a tiny bit of hope gets raised again just for the book to remind you they are not gonna win. Anyway, I’m loving every interaction between Helena and Ferron, It’s heartbreaking. [2/2]

Chapter 61, page 814. First of all, I’ve left so many bookmarks in this book that I’m genuinely afraid I’m going to break it. I hope not. Also, something happens in every single chapter. I don’t even know how to react anymore. [1/2]

Finished chapter 51, finally a bit of comfort, i needed it as much as Helena 😭

“I can’t get attached to you, if I do I won’t be able to use you”
“Then use me”

I’m on page 684, at the beginning of Chapter 51. I read the entire previous chapter in one sitting. The whole part about the fight really hooked me, and I honestly didn’t expect it, the anxiety was real. I also still feel so bad for poor Ferron, and obviously for Helena too (but my pookie Ferron is so relatable). We love a tragic love story anyway 🥹

“I'm sure there's something poetic in it all, but right now all I feel is a new set of manacles. So forgive me if I dislike looking at you. I'm still adjusting to the ways these new ones chafe."
Chapter 49, page 646

THIS IS PROBABLY MY FAVOURITE PHRASE OF THE WHOLE BOOK, In Manacled the dialogue was more intense but I cried anyway 😭🛐

I just finished chapter 46, THE RAGE-BAIT, THE BETRAYAL, THE CONCERN, This book is written so beautifully that I can understand Helena 100%. The way she needs to choose between Luc and Ferron AND the way she needs to carry everything ALONE. MY POOR GIRL, I can’t describe the stomach ache I’m feeling, YOU ARE VERY STRONG 😭

“I’m afraid that one day I’ll arrive and you won’t be here anymore”
page 595

The plot twist of chapter 45 😭 Helena girl, you are so strong, I would have smash that Iva (from the start, she is a pain in the ass) + honestly kinda of funny how they talk about Ferron like he is a dog 😭😭😭

“By now, it no longer mattered to anyone that she had been an alchemist, a healer, or anything else. To anyone who found out, she would be nothing more than a whore. Women were always defined in the most degrading terms.
And yet, it was even worse knowing all of this and still longing for the rare moments when Ferron was kind to her. Because she had nothing else left.”
Chapter 44, page 564

Probably my fav parallel

“Why don’t you die?”
“Prior commitments, I’m afraid.”
Chapter 13, page 199

“Don't die, Kaine.”
“There are far worse fates than dying, Marino.”
“I know. But that one you don't come back from.”
“All right, then, but only because you asked.”
Chapter 43, page 554

Page 496 and 497 is emotionally destroying me aaaaah “She had kissed Kaine Ferron. Not a fake kiss or a strategic one, but a real kiss, and he had kissed her back, It had been the perfect opportunity to take the next step, but she had let it slip away. Ferron had offered himself to her on a silver platter, […] Helena had ruined everything because she knew it couldn’t be real, and yet she wished it were.”

“Why did you kiss me?”
“Because you made me feel like the parts of me that serve no purpose still deserve to exist, that I’m more than just the things I can do.”
- pag. 495 (start of chapter 38)

I WANNA CRY

"I must admit, if anyone had told me that you'd become so lovely, I would never have come near you. I was rather blindsided when I first saw you again. You're like a rose in a graveyard. I wonder what you could have turned into without the war."
- page 489

[3/3]

She could no longer put herself back together on her own, and no one else seemed to notice that she was falling apart.
You are completely alone, and when the war is over, you will still be alone.”
- page 476

“She had always believed she could do anything for her friends. She didn’t need recognition, only the comfort of knowing she had done what was necessary. Her practicality had robbed her of the glory of heroism, and she kept telling herself that was enough… but she felt so terribly alone.
Now she carried a dull emptiness that never faded, a wound that grew slowly and could never truly heal. - [2/3]

I’m on page 489, Chapter 36. I haven’t posted any updates because this part of the book has completely pulled me in, and I’ve been reading it nonstop. I’m still fascinated by Helena’s mind. It made me incredibly sad to see how her efforts never seem to be acknowledged or appreciated. I can feel her loneliness. On the next part some quotes I liked [1/3]

I’m so not normal about chapter 25, first I love hearing all Helena’s thoughts and her mental strategies + the first meeting with Ferron + the conversations that are repeated + the kiss + the ring. I think it’s so cool that the first part of this book is Helena in the future and now we get to see her past, we know stuff she doesn’t even know. God how I love this book and everything about it 🥹💞

Chapter 24 is probably one of my favourites of the book: I wondered why there was a dragon on the cover, I love getting to the explanation on page 338 + the plan against Ferron is so interesting, all based on manipulation, first they studied his weaknesses and I loved the whole explanation until they got to the final plan

“An obsession is a weakness, and a weakness is an opportunity for us”

I read chapter 23, I’m on page 332 (the start of chapter 24) and oh my god finally the really interesting part of the book, I’ve been waiting for it since I opened it, I’m so excited to read it. Until now anyway chef kiss, I know from now on it only gets better, the second part of this book is my fav 💞 (Small detail: there are dates in each chapter because Helena knows them now and takes them into account)

These last few chapters of Part One completely pulled me in. I genuinely feel sorry for anyone who gave up on this book early because they thought it was boring.

“He wasn’t kind. He simply wasn’t cruel […] and to Helene’s shattered mind, the absence of cruelty was comfort enough. For her starving heart, it was enough.”

[2/2]

I’ve finished Part One. I’m about to start Chapter 22, on page 303. Reading anything after Chapter 18 has been emotionally exhausting: the three SA scenes + the detailed descriptions of how lonely and empty Helena feels, completely stripped of any happy thought to hold onto, just watching her slowly lose herself. [1/2]

Last mention before I continue with the book: I like how it talks about immigration (the conversation between Helena and the doctor), which doesn’t happen in Manacled. It gives Helena even more tragedy in her character, even if the fact that she is an immigrant is simply a replacement by the fact that she is a half-blood on hp [3/3]