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Reading each page is painful enough. Reading it thus far has made me realize two things. That I lack philosophical knowledge to comprehend all that Taylor offers in the book. And that he is raveling many philosophical ideas I've deemed, perhaps since 14, as early as I could possibly remember. So I must continue! Strong minds discuss ideas, weak minds discuss people.

Took me over one hour for reading 5 pages. What the book contains makes me speechless. I wish I was more intelligent and more aged to understand this. Gonna drop many books to read just for this, to penetrate the Gospel to secular mind.

I jokingly say I don't know how one remains godly without having read Owen's works on sin. Tim Keller while in Jackson said that one doesn't know what struggles there are, has not read Owen. I think he's right. My efforts to pray and read Bible seem endlessly weary, sometimes. I realize why I seem exhausted only after I read Owen - when Im awaken to see what my struggles are.

Just finished "necessity of self-examination." There's A LOT covered in this sermon. Be watchful if you're gonna read to not interpret Edwards as legalistic close to the end of the sermon. But what he says is true.

If you think this books about lust, you're GREATLY mistaken. This book is about how you walk with the Lord. One of the greatest treatise of the puritans. I can't imagine how to strive to be more godly day by day without such Puritan works like this.

God is warmed receiving my prayer. But His sovereignty is beautified when I still trust Him, despite my emotions.

A full of serious and abnormal problems about how to perceive the reality, some content of the book has. Abnormal psychology becomes normal psychology, and neurosis becomes normality and vice versa. I wouldn't recommend the book to Christians. But the question that still remains is: why do I keep reading it?

I gave birth to my own thoughts, greatest force than any other forces of the mind That which possess. And I shall fly where it leads me. What a tragedy it is, ah my Lord, for that birth by nature. guide me beneath my wings, therefore, for my natural desire is seriously deprived... Thus I reason again; did you not creat that wind...

This is for me. I know my notes go into public. But I dont wish to change it because, despite the excess, only those interested in it would read. Having said this, this publicity is vulnerability, for it unveils my spiritual condition. Again, nor do I care about this, for this is for me. He grows me. and I keep writing it!

Reread a chapter. Sometimes suffering is necessary to see one's need for God because People are generally sad or happy enough to see Him . . . "People who have never suffered are likely to have naive stories about life's meaning."

Man I don't know when I'm gonna finish "necessity of self-examination" because I reflect too much. But this time of reflection is itself a necessity. Perhaps I've loved wisdom outside the bible this week. This is my sin-ful temptation: that I get fascinated by other wisdom literature Oh how grateful I am for my access to God's rules. He is pleased when I find my happiness in them. Forever I shall obey His precepts.

I didn't realize my heart was not protected while in Kansas. I can only assume; but my heart was not secured because I felt very intimate. It was a good thing; but I just need to be better at being in control of my heart for this life i have which began when God brought me out of my family If there's one thing I learned since last week; is that the core of my existence is His happiness. To please Him is my joy

Quite interesting thought of Edwards today: sometimes men are. It sensible, because they are stupified through custom. Custom in an evil practice stupifies the mind, so that it makes any way of sin, which at first was offensive to conscience, after a while, to seem harmless.

I get frustrated when I don't understand what I read. Reading the intro extremely frustrated me. So I read in a more intense level. But I'm glad to have read it at the cost of my frustration. Now gotta deal with consequences of spending time on what I want to read when I have homework to do.

This is why I believe in God's absolute providence. After my Hebrew test I took this morning, I became loose spiritually, as I highly assume that happened to all of us. Then reading Edwards, this sermon is called "the necessity of self-examination" "Search me o God, and know my heart; try me and know my thoughts; and see if there be any wicked way in me..." Again He pulled my heart closer to His presence...

Finished a sermon about why Christians should pursue the knowledge of the divinity. One thing that stood out is this: "seek not to grow in knowledge chiefly for the sake of applause..." Calvin once said pride is innate in all humanity. From that point on when my mind blew away by Calvin, that's been about the greatest caution I upheld... Still praying for it!

I pursue wisdom. "If any man would be wise, let him become a fool, that he may be wise" I don't care how much I read of Edwards everyday. Reading Psalms is more important. Thanks be to God. Really thanks to be the Father who rescues me when I find pleasure in recrucifying my Lord...

Recently I feel as if God's been jealous of me. Perhaps my seminary years are given for God's pleasure in His jealousy. But is this the reason why I've spent ridiculous amount of time pondering upon all that I have: to know how jealous God is to me? Is emotion an evidence of the human fragility? Or its advancement? What does it mean to hear God in recognition of emotion's existence in me? . . .

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As I was praying, this thought occurred in my mind: what are the things of which my soul consist? I wrote some down, very disorganized but those are: happiness, freedom, nothingness (therefore, fullness) and ...

Last chapter in of temptation left. Always remaining such gratitude that my Lord is a living God in my life, guiding it to His way..

Have no idea who's interested in my note. But since I bought iPhone 6, gonna use technology far more. And here is where I keep my spiritual growth whenever I go work out for sanctification. Well wrote a long note but didn't realize there's a limit as to how much I can write here.. Well anyway Another piece of Gods wisdom today!

Rereading portions of my favorite parts during my devotional :)

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