Abbie Simons > Recent Status Updates

“Not now, Husam. I don’t know how to make words make
sense, or praise. In the Friend-place nothing true
can be *said*. Let me just be here.”

"...Or the man who went to borrow a horse.

'Take the gray.'

'No, not that one.'

'Why?'

'It goes in reverse. It backs up.'

'Then turn its tail toward your home.'"

This shit goes so fucking hard omg

“I want to say words that flame
as I say them, but I keep quiet and don’t try
to make both worlds fit in one mouthful.

I keep secret in myself an Egypt
that doesn’t exist.
Is that good or bad? I don’t know.”

Yeah so this shit’s blowing my mind

“Husam is the sun I mean.
He can’t be understood with the mind, or said,
but we’ll stumble and stagger trying to.
Just because you can’t drink all that falls
doesn’t mean you give up taking sips
of rainwater. If the nut
of the mystery can’t be held,
at least let me touch the shell.”

“These images of going about in and through the dark carry an old message that says, ‘Do not fear “not knowing.”’ In various phases and periods of our lives, this is as it should be. This feature of tales and myths encourages us to follow the call, even when we’ve no idea of where to go, in what direction, or for how long. All we know is that…we must sit up, get up, and go see.”

Having such a beautiful experience here

Whoa

“Even running is part of the process. It is only human to do so, but not for long and not forever.”

Everything is shadow because everything is light??????????????

Warming up to this

Struggling with this one. Its attitude toward covid is grandiose and exhausting in that particular liberal-arts-academic way, and the name-dropping of all the author’s interesting friends and acquaintances is egregious bordering on ridiculous. I don’t want to be harsh but I’m really struggling to connect with anything here. Feels very out of touch and self-important. TTW might just not be my vibe.

“Energy itself seems to arise out of an even more deeply concealed grid-like patterning of the void of space, which can no longer be viewed as ‘nothing.’”

“First, the mortal king, operating under the mature masculine energy of the King, lived the order in his own life; only secondarily did he enforce it.”

Interesting thus far to see mechanical imagery enter a diary entry about a beetle in the 1660s.

Fear of intimacy chapter took my lunch money

Really appreciate the reframing of “shyness” as a label that is both negative and self-fulfilling. Gonna drop that now, thanks Elaine

Bought this used from thriftbooks, and finding myself moved in a way I can’t explain by the previous owner’s notes in the margins. Adding my own feels like some weird romance. Whoever it is, we’re similar.

“Ricky was a stuffed raccoon with red fur and a black button snout. Two chestnut eyes, loveworn and peeling. I took him everywhere, his long torso slung over my shoulder. With that secret suspicion present in all children, I believed the thing I loved was alive.”

Interesting to realize as I’m reading this: the author’s (valid) insistence on adjusting most pronouns used in excerpts etc (to match historical individuals’ truer gender identity), is really confusing the fuck outta me. I do wonder if this approach will stick culturally because I’m not sure it works, but also appreciate the way it’s forcing me to notice and loosen my expectations.