Journee > Recent Status Updates

I am free!

Sometimes this book hits but sometimes it is. Boring just read the Florence chapter beautiful haunting. I’d like dolly to go deeper this book is a little surface level for the content the truths revelations she’s walked away with don’t hit me as hard as I’d like. It’s taken me a while to read

This book is so perfect that Kathleen’s ability to articulate so precisely how it feels to be black, especially a black woman is her weakest quality

I want it to get deeper

I don’t relate to her teenage yes the careless drinking at all. I wish I did. Very different upbringings I wish I got to be that free at that age I was so strict and felt so constricted my goodness. Literal opposites. I did relate to wanting to just “grow up” have “your own” everything and how she wasn’t fit to be a teenager and kind of hated it-I did too. Felt like I didn’t live those years right

I really really don’t get the absolute hype around this book. It’s uh, it’s not doing it for me . There are moments that are so poignant here reglections cut so deep and are so unique and stark but that happens every 40-60 page the rest feels like sometimes very -interesting world building or just blasé filler commentary 🤷🏾‍♀️

She with Sam Shepard I like how they met that’s cool. I love that moment she had with jimmy Hendrix right before he passed- “ I want all the Mahican’s in one rooms an we naur make noise until it become some big symphony.”

Sometimes enjoyable sometimes boring still. They’ve left the Chelsea hotel. I love reading about who Patti bumps into her getting her androgynous haircut and not knowing it was so interesting me. Don’t underestimate the power of a haircut fortunately but also fortunately why do we all care so much. But yea I get treated soooo differently depending on my hair too. Also the guy asking for her to write? Interesting

It’s really good my pain came back in my head my headaches have come back after being better after a week and I find myself getting sad and fustateted to the point where is hard to even cry. But I’m going to try again ofc. Resilience means literally less fear. It’s not easy but it is simple, I gotta accept this thing. I can and will be pain free achieving my dreams

It’s helping me so much but it’s so interesting I feel this sense of shame that I’m expediting chronic pain like it makes me Uber abnormal and inconsequentially unattractive. The fact that I believe this lie is heartbreaking to me, I’m working on not believing it. But I even notice how hard it is for me to let people read the title
Of the book in public like I don’t want them to see I’m reading this book

There are so many “last words” I just want to finish the book to say I’ve finished this book. But she has an addendum, notes, bibliography then acknowledgments. I just finished the addendum, I like how she said this is your process it’s very personalized, take your time to the book. And it was affirming to read about her process writing this book. It’s a book it’s a Bible it should be read-read. Grateful.

“Woooootheisooooool? Woooooooootheisoooool? Where is the soul? Where is the soul” just finished the wolves eyelash chapter where she encourages you to go out to the woods or your life will never begin there’s this quote from the wolf poem where the girls family tried to keep her from going out into the woods so they said ‘say as I want you to say and remain as unwritten upon as the day you came’ nuff said

Me to not be so hard on myself or honestly hard on myself AT alll life is already hard enough

Hi I am quite literally addicted to this book did I mention I already am feeling better (not completly pain free) but it takes time. To know and believe there is nothing wrong with you, that’s where I am at and what I’m working on and it’s liberating. I just keep picking it up to read when it’s super late lol it’s 2AM rn I also like this book because it really puts it all into perspective and encourages…

“It’s the way you react to this pain that’s important”
Don’t fear the pain that feeds into the cycle of neuroplastic pain
Very interesting how fear feeds the neuropaldtic pain. I feel so seen by this book

Mm so good I’m noticing I’m feeling less pain I’m grateful yes journee that’s ok to say.

I’m finding it hard to read it maybe cause the text is so small idk I love it tho. I’m at the seventh stage to psyche development. I’m just having eye pain and a slight headache rn as I’m ok the train so I felt like I couldn’t read or really retain info. But that part when she was like your hands will grow back when you reach out to save your inner child and that becomes your biggest concern. No distracting

It’s boring but I could appreciate her oberservations more? I don’t know I don’t resonate

Y’know it’s kinda boring right now ngl. They’re at the chelwsea still the observations once again aren’t hitting for me. How did seeing that piece of art of going that place affect you, when we that’s said it hits but she’s just observering to observe it feels - and ofc that’s ok but not an enjoyable read right this moment

Example from squeezed chapter “don’t jump over the big squeeze, but look at I just as it is, not out of the corner of your eye…experience it fully not as good or bad, but simply as unconditioned or ordinary”

“Drop all the complaints and just be there, feeling off guard not knowing what to do.”

I couldn’t wait to update you i read for an hour I loved these two chapters, I can’t remember their titles right now but goodness on of my favorites was just like talking about the “squeeze” just that tension you feel when your trying to be good and holy and right and neutral and let go and all that jazz but you don’t want to or your eye hurts or chest hurts or you wanna cry or stubbed your toe.

It’s actually
Helping me step back and slow down. To not be so quick to judge my emotions feelings thoughts opinions. To literally just notice. It’s literally taking me through how to be aware and choose love or neutrality. There’s a place for everything.

I’m back to not really enjoying this book. I don’t really resonate and I’m finding these post 10 pages boring, like her observations.

There’s something about being totally raw with someone else. No makeup hair is hair, your nose and eyes are bare and all you can rely on per se is your expressions from your soul. That’s Patti and Robert or how it feels reading about them two. Raw. Come as you are, I want that. It’s that or nothing.

The book got really good and I almost want to take back my last review update as if life this book has ebbs and flows I don’t feel I’m in a position to judge it by its quality this is a memoir… a literal memoir a precious life that will to anyone’s. I will say last 4 pages riveting, her living in the alleyway motel with “morphine angel” a literal ballet dancer, singing in the halls, crying out to a life

You know what it’s good deeply introspective work but idk it’s not really
Resonating with me as much. I see where and why it’s beautiful but I think Robert is really toxic and that’s just reminding me of a love I don’t want I don’t want the love they have even though I know dis hard because they definitely love each other. Again though the most
Honest she is the most profound her observations I like that!

She’s touched on awareness and the importance of feelings your emotions so RAIN. Now next chapter she’ll talk about the voice of the inner critic😅 I’m ready to be exposed. I’m hearing a lot of things I feel like I already now insights I’m already aware of but I don’t mind tbh there are definitely gems. It’s a needed reminder needed book.

I’ve reached the chapter where Patti finally talks about she met Robert! I love how it’s set literally right where I live lower East side. I know exactly all the spots she’s talking about I can envision them so well. That moment with the black homeless man her and him bonding was very pure and human.

It’s great so far I notice it’s kind of réplétive but I don’t mind. Trying to see if this pressure behind my eyes will go down with these Prato da and also holding space for the fact that it may not too. There’s this interesting balance you have to have with awareness and this acceptance of letting go that is hard with meditation. I want to do the loving kindness mediation I like how she said it manifests