Laurajanefarrow > Recent Status Updates

This is currently close to being one of the worst books I have ever read, I am so close to DNFing it. Imagine if you will, a police based “mystery”(?), with absolutely no research done by the author, who very clearly doesn’t even know the very basics of policing (hello bodyworn cameras and PACE S17).

Just over halfway now and we’ve just discovered Colin has been petrified and DumbleDaddy has confirmed the Chamber of Secrets (brilliant name for a gay bar btw) is reopen. Cracking (like Harry’s arm), finally a bit of action. I still find JK Rowling’s writing nauseous though, with every woman swooning over Lockhart and the use of “shrill” being used exclusively to describe women’s voices, but, we move.

We’re on the second book and there’s definitely an ever so slight change in tone from the first one. We’ve met Gilderoy Lockhart (who definitely cries after sex) and I misread Cornish pixies as Cornish pasties and wondered for a good few pages how Cornish pasties were causing so much chaos.

On this episode of Loz reads HP for the first time: We’ve just fought a troll and now we’re getting ready for Quidditch practice. I must say I can understand why people return to this book as a comfort, it is comforting to read. HOWEVER, the ✨internalised misogyny✨ towards Hermione (ironic as JK is a TERF) and jokes about Seamus and setting things in fire are not fun to read. But, we move.

In this episode of Loz reads HP for the first time: We’ve just had the sorting ceremony, and I can confirm Dumbledore reminds me of the people on Spice Alley in Manchester, we stan Draco, Hermione deserved better and Harry can catch my hands because he’s annoying and asks stupid questions.

Shock horror. I have never read Harry Potter before. It’s never interested me and honestly the hardcore Potter fans annoyed me. However, after binging all the films during Lockdown 2.0 (I don’t know why I did, something about Harry Potter at Christmas) when I had COVID, I thought I would give the books a go. However I got them
all for FREE because we don’t give money to TERFS.