SLADE > Recent Status Updates

There's cocaine in here!

You will not be shaving my ass!

“It’s cheese sticks, Samantha. Sticks. Not cheese dicks.”

“I don’t think so, Carl. Cheese sticks doesn’t even make sense. Sticks come from trees. Why would there be a tree made out of cheese? I know one goddess whose clitoris got turned into the head of a bald man named Otis-Ray who spends his day begging to be fed cabbage, so it makes much more sense that a penis would be turned to a food item.”

We all have our limitations.

Do I get any of this illicit butthole money?

"But none of that mattered right now. Right now, I needed to get this damn crab to jerk off into the ocean."

"Donut actually had better fire protection than I did thanks to her nipple ring, but we were both exhausted and didn’t want to risk it."

And how about how unhinged the AI has become?

Why does that lady with her underwear on the outside bring her pet hedgehog on the subway? Who the hell knows!