Kayce Dowdy > Recent Status Updates

"Instead of fleeing with her tail tucked between her legs, Jackie boldly reached out her hand and claimed the seed inside Morganza as her own." The fuck did I just read? Was this, like, a literal semen-claiming? Did Jackie straight up harvest the baby batter with her hands or did she use some sort of magic? You know what? I don't want to know. This book, I swear.

Threatening to shoot a teenager for giving your daughter a ride. Lovely.

It would be great if italics could be added to indicate when a character is hearing voices or remembering something. I keep having to go back and reread just to suss out who is speaking/thinking.

Aaaand a Native character just stated he had not done something "in many moons." Many moons? For real? Is this how you believe a Native character would speak, like some beaded and befeathered portrayal of a chieftain in a 1960s Western? NO. I can't with all of the Native tropes in this book.

Your hot insta-love boyfriend is like the Edward Cullen of assassins, Mac. He's assassin-lite. This is basically the best case scenario to explain that "very deadly asset" comment that you incessantly repeat to yourself. I swear this character's reactions make no sense.

So far I despise this FMC. She feels superior to the poor people she lives around. A guy tries to rape her and she doesn't report it. She drops her dream of being a music therapist based on the way a guy she's known for ten seconds kisses her. All of that is gross, Mackenzie. Also the author keeps making "guys do this/girls do this" statements. STAHP. Seriously.

DORIAN IS DARK, YOU DOLT. GTFO.

Our heroine is now so overwrought that she's unable to order a drink and needs to be saved. I white girl can not with this bitch.

I'm choosing to ignore the fact that this author constantly misuses or flat out invents words. I'm now in this to see just how bad it can get.

So basically what I'm reading here is Twilight if it hadn't been written by a Mormon. Got it.

"The dam burst in my Victoria's Secrets." WTF am I even reading right now? Good thing I didn't actually spend money on this.

If you didn't see that twist coming I don't really know what to say to you. On to the next one.

I would like to quote the 90s classic "10 things I hate about you."

What is it with this chick? Does she have beer flavored nipples or something?

I think Mare is solidly into Mary Sue territory here.

Cal is a "tortuous, terrible enemy" a couple of pages back but now Mare is, lyke, totes panging with guilt over his seeing her kissing Maven. "Maven." Jesus, what a name.

Also, Aveyard, consult a dictionary, girl! I don't think "tortuous" means what you think it means.

And with that Mare has become a super special savior of the Reds with lightning powers AND potentially royal. And we have a love triangle (or square?) all set up. Well, at least her parents aren't dead yet and the Red end of the triangle (square?) is kind of a wimp.

The identity of the serial killer was so freaking obvious I thought Maynard was using him as a red herring. Now that I know she wasn't I'm irritated. Way to insult your readers' intelligence.

This is going to suddenly turn into a supah-smaht uber warrior turned B&B proprietor telling tales of his own badassery? I feel baited and switched.

I just can't with you, Angel. What a knob!

Thomas Hardy has a lot of interesting ideas about women. :/

Loving it so far.

Mr. Elliot, you're being creepy. STAHP IT.

The sarcasm in this book is so beautifully crafted and phrased. Austen is my hero.

Mary is the Mother of the Year!

Three people know about the engagement. If this happened now Anne would be all "Anne and Wentworth are in a relationship" "Ring pic!" "Angsty, passive-aggressive status update about no one understanding" "Anne and Wentworth are no longer in a relationship."

Oh okay. So this is where half of the plot of Downtown Abbey came from. It's Persuasion fortified with WW-I.

It drags.

Daaaaaaaaaaayum.