mad mags > Recent Status Updates

I feel like the sudden acquisition of a broad axe requires some explanation.

Jesus, lady, get over yourself. Your husband cheated on you, big whoop. Leave him and get on with your life.

Yup, definite Cindy Bi vibes.

Dr. Shields is giving Cindy Bi vibes.
https://www.wired.com/story/the-baby-...

fuuuuucking george.

Satanism sounds just as tedious as Christianity, ugh

“Cute doesn’t matter when it comes to threats,” Ash says darkly. “I lost a chicken last week, and I bet he’s the one who killed her. And my dog Pilot was bitten by a raccoon last year and had to be put down for rabies. It was awful."

That kinda sounds like a you problem, as in you didn't vaccinate your dog.

>> The raccoon gives a whimpering cry, and then Ro is frozen in horror as Ash beats it to death.

I believe this is what they call a red flag. Run, girl.

Much to her surprise, a raccoon waddles out, its face glistening as it licks its lips.
“That bastard,” Ash hisses, going rigid. “He’s been eating my eggs.”

I mean, they aren't really *your* eggs either, are they?

Nah, you should absolutely kill Jack.

How dense is this narrator?

Incidentally, I keep picturing Justin Baldoni playing the part of Jack.

fwiw, for all the self-help books I've read, I've found that Alexis has given the single best piece of advice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHLUI...

What do we need?
What do we want?

Giving strong Moira Rose.
https://youtu.be/DDCw3N-bN6U?si=mHRtk...

So, wait. Win knew that his father was the one who poisoned Anya, but he didn't tell he? And then *he* had the nerve to break up with *her*?

dog help me, but every time there's a scene with Phil, all I can picture is this guy. https://i.gifer.com/5vS.gif

Damn, I really wanted to see Ms. Gallagher get hers. *pouting*

"You ever notice you can only ooze two things? Sexuality and pus."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F21vh...

Narrators with English and Irish accents? Score!

"Like a lot of Willowgrove teachers, Mr. Truman was born and raised in False Beach and never left. He knew Chloe the second he saw her on his roster because he graduated Willowgrove in ’96 alongside her mom and Shara’s parents. Chloe once found him in her mom’s senior yearbook, looking like the coolest kid in the show choir."

*I* graduated in '96. 😬

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qf5y...

"Draws the ladies like bees to honey.”
“Does he, now?”
“Yep, and the men like him, too. That’s not always the case. Fellas don’t always like a ladies’ man.” That made me think of my ex-wife’s fierce Johnny Depp fixation.

Sounds about right.

"it was going to be a beautiful June morning, and school was out. The first day of summer vacation is usually as happy for teachers as it is for students, but I felt sad. Sad."

You and me both, buddy.

“What if it went wrong? [...] What if I managed, God knows how, to stop it from happening and made things worse instead of better? What if I came back and discovered America had become a fascist regime? Or that the pollution had gotten so bad everybody was walking around in gas masks?”

Oh, honey.

Michael Hayden is one of her "all-time heroes"? Gross.