Briana > Recent Status Updates

This is so gratuitous on so many levels. Gratuitous page count. Gratuitous descriptions. Gratuitous terror. There are quite a few scenes and descriptions that I genuinely cannot look past, justify, or forgive.

Yet I completely understand why this is regarded as a masterpiece and a landmark work of horror. I don’t know how to make those two things make sense at the same time.

How long is an appropriate amount of time before I reread this

This is scary

I can’t believe I’m reading a new John Green book in 2026 and I can’t believe it will have an ending

Julie Olivia loves a hot widowed single dad and you know what, hell yeah

Picking this for Labor Day weekend was an accidental slayyyy… if you want a great end-of-summer read and somehow, like me, missed this when it was at peak internet hype… it’s the perfect timing right now 😎

THIS IS ABOUT TO HURT

PSA pls skip the audiobook if you know what’s good for you. This book about a girlie with a phd in weather playing truth or dare, 7 mins in heaven, going live on instagram is deeply unserious but the male narrator will make you question more than the concentration of tornadoes in Florida summers

“Virginia Woolf would have loved Grindr”

okay Annabel wow

Switched the audio and the singing and instrumentation was a jump scare

🤙🤙pinkies up 🤙🤙

CJ is a gal from Austin that also has strong feelings about Denver!!! I’m just like her 👹

“In life, unlike in books, we have to weave our stories out of threads as fine as the gossamer veins that run through a butterfly’s wings.”

I suddenly neeeeed to eat figs

11 pages in and I can tell our Canadian Summer Queen has done it again!! here I come, Vancouver Island!!

I may get cavity from the blue moon over brooklyn sweetness of this book and I like it

Imagine you’re Elle Woods and you get to duel your ex and his new fiance with a weapon in a castle instead of with words in Harvard classroom

The grand performance of womanhood demands an audience!!!!! The flimsy scaffolding of patriarchy will hold us!!! I need hundreds more of these pages !!! Scary!!! Hysterical!!! Churning that cognitive dissonance like it’s fresh butter!!!!

I LOVE THESE CHARACTERS! I LOVE NEW YORK! I LOVE CARA BASTONE!

I would do anything for Shep

Brought to u by Nadia Cakes and Identity Theft Protection Services

Is this book sponsored by identity theft protection services

Only that iPhone notes app could have produced misguided shared yorkie custody, a fanny pack wearing pharmacist, and this much parental trauma.

At least the dog has a butthole

Why wait until 50, I’m going to call the things I collect my “loved ones” now

“Maybe I should try journaling”

I feeeeeel like there are probably lots of therapists in walking distance from their apartment what gives

New York = People salad ✍️