Ashley Husemoller > Recent Status Updates

For a bonus, she asked them: Who knew the origins of the word?
“Which word?” someone said.
“Panic,” said T.J. But no one raised a hand.
She explained. It came from the Greek god Pan: the god of the woods. He liked to trick people, to confuse and disorient them until they lost their bearings, and their minds.
To panic, said T.J., was to make an enemy of the forest. To stay calm was to be its friend.

FIRST LINE: The bed is empty.

FIRST LINE: I remember, in no particular order:
—a shiny inner wrist;
—steam rising from a wet sink as a hot frying pan is laughingly tossed into it;
—gouts of sperm circling a plughole, before being sluiced down the full length of a tall house;
—a river rushing nonsensically upstream, its wave & wash lit by half a dozen chasing torchbeams;
(Continued in comments)

I can already tell this guy is going to be a baller storyteller!

FIRST LINE: On 20 May 2119 I took the overnight ferry from Port Marlborough and arrived in the late afternoon at the small quay near Maentwrog-under-Sea that serves the Bodleian Snowdonia Library.

A treat for drinking men could only mean one thing: something was going to be hurt that evening. Something might even be killed.

FIRST LINE: The girls, the infernal heat, a fresh-dead body.

FIRST LINE: Who wouldn’t be skeptical when a man claims to have spent an entire weekend with God, in a shack no less?

If a person who has lived at sea level meets up with his twin who has lived in the mountains, he will find that his sibling is slightly older than he.

I BEG YOUR FINEST PARDON!?

FIRST LINE: in his youth Albert Einstein spent a year loafing aimlessly.

In the exaggerated claims across movie screens and conspiracy books, Masonic brotherhoods were the stuff of clandestine wonder, the triangular menace on the dollar, the gatekeepers of all knowledge. They were also just down the road.

FIRST LINE: Ol’ Froglegs Bullhead lived in a small public housing unit with a CNA in one of the unincorporated communities between two cities, Waubajeeg and Indian Hollow, on the Languille Lake Reservation in northern Minnesota.

FIRST LINE: Now I shall tell of things that change, new being out of old: since you, O Gods, created mutable arts and gifts, give me the voice to tell the shifting story of the world from its beginning to the present hour.

FIRST LINE: It’s strange how we always give big news to loved ones in a coma, as if a coma is just a thing that happens from a lack of something to be excited about in your life.