Alyssa Levitz > Recent Status Updates

"Denying what's right in front of your face is the number one cause of death in unprecedented situations,"

“While she loved Johnny, it was more a love of convenience than the love she actually wanted. Both of them deserved not only to be with those they loved, but to be fully loved from a space of knowing, not hiding.”

“And what about her marriage? After her night with Yatzil, she knew how unfair it all was to Johnny, not only the affair, but all Lena had held back in the marriage. She had made herself smaller over the years, afraid of admitting what she truly craved.”

“The word yet: because it allows you to believe more than one thing.”

Grief is a bad mirror. It shows you manipulated images of yourself, your will, and the future. It cannot show you how the small work you do will add up to yourself. Inch by inch.

What a human in a dark room who has lost the ability to see themselves or others does not need is a metaphor. More effective would be to say, If you feel alone, you are. I'm sorry I cannot join you in that dark space but I won't offend you with a metaphor. Yet.

Every human dies. But the bad news is that every day they act like they don't know they're alive. They lie or behave inconsid-erately or cheat. Each one is a little death. Humans experience many little deaths before the final one.
No response.

The ego of the human male is by far the most dangerous aspect of human society.
THIS HAS BEEN WELL-DOCUMENTED.

But they are far too familiar now, decidedly unstrangered.

She isn't lonely, quite, but she has a sharp awareness of her solitude, the sudden emptiness of the room buzzing bright around her.

“But they hold hands because they know there is no such thing as time, and that whatever this connection is, it is a Gift.”

“I was heartbroken, but free. Grieving, but relieved. A dichotomy of feelings on the blank canvas of my future self that I had yet to meet.”

“It's a culture devoted to a kind of gluttony of health, or what they now call wellness.”

“The very physical fact of her-the sheen of perspiration on her collarbone, her dark-nippled breasts, the small mole behind her left ear that she may not even know exists— this is what returns him to himself every day.”

“There should be a word for the moment just before heartbreak, when the very air quivers with all that is about to come.”

“The stars, rather than appearing distant and implacable, seemed to be signal fires in the dark, mysterious fellow travelers lighting a path; one hundred thousand million luminous presences beckoning from worlds away. /See us. We are here. We have always been here. We will always be here./“

“… the world is divided into a /Not Anymore/, an /Already/, and a /Not Yet/.”

“I like saying, It's fine. It's a lie that seems smaller.”

“Monstrilio wasn't San-tiago, but he was becoming his own being, the ties that bound him to Magos's pain thinning, his original darkness giving way to something new and independent.”

“This love doesn’t make me feel better”

Had I been so naive to see purpose in the incidents that had led to me being here, rather than quirks of an uncaring universe?
What madness to gaze upon the violent chaos and cruelty of this world and have faith!

There is a great vulnerability in being entirely at God's mercy, a position akin to a worm upon a floating splinter that with the slightest ripple may be lost forever.
It's a vulnerability that brings to the surface truths long buried in your heart.

My head was full of phrases and sayings. What was that lovely one again? A path is made by walking on it. Just let go. How many times had I heard that and immediately tensed up? You could think all you liked, but it didn't alter how you felt. Your whole body a fist that could only be prised open with brute force. Everything in hand, yet not that elusive heartbeat. The old you-just-have-to-believe-it.

Weird style, hard to get used to, not fully sure what’s going on.

“Jason thought the world was built for heroes. I knew we had to build it ourselves.”

Hope may be a dream. But she will fight to make it real.