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- Things are always at the best in the beginning.
- Everything new appears beautiful.
- Emotions change rapidly, by no means take Changing colors personally, only key to understand is to read the actions towards you.

- Top 3 traits she looks for: Confidence (self esteem and self confidence), Control (Made of discipline, patience and self control) and challenge! Something that makes her chase.

- And traits that men should look for : Integrity (Trust and Honesty), Giving and flexibility.

-And maintainence part consist of :Respect, affection and romance.

-Never try to keep someone who does not wavy top keep you.

Focus on what you can do next, not excuses or external validation.

Excuses and limiting stories are habits, not facts—act anyway.

Take small, courageous actions repeatedly; each one builds proof of capability.

Treat action as training—every step teaches your brain you can handle discomfort.

Confidence is built through bold, consistent action, not by waiting to feel ready.

Taking action shrinks fear; hesitation gives fear more power.

Real confidence comes after acting, not from overthinking.

Adopt an owner mindset: “I create my destiny,” instead of blaming circumstances.

Maintain healthy relationships with authority figures.

Dress professionally to boost self-image and presence.
What Confident People Do NOT Do:

Make excuses

Quit when challenged

Wait for permission to take action

Constantly seek the spotlight

Depend on continuous praise

Procrastinate

Judge others harshly

Avoid healthy conflict

Get overly comfortable or complacent

Practical Ways to Build Confidence

Take an honest inventory of your strengths and weaknesses.

Speak with certainty and clarity.

Listen more than you speak.

Seek small wins to build momentum.

Draw happiness from within, not external validation.

Exercise regularly — physical strength supports mental strength.

Be willing to be wrong and learn from it.

Celebrate others’ success.
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How to Increase Your Confidence
Core Principles

Doubt feeds more doubt; confidence grows through action.

Growth requires stepping outside comfort zones.

True confidence is self-awareness accept flaws and avoid arrogance.

Confident people positively influence those around them.

Money & Happiness
Spend Smarter

Spend on experiences, not things experiences shape identity

Anticipation of experiences increases happiness.

Fleeting moments are valuable their impermanence makes them meaningful

Comparisons matter far less than personal fulfillment

Core Insight

Happiness is not a destination but a practice built through awareness, meaningful action, emotional honesty, and intentional living.

Unhappy Habits to Avoid:

Immunity to awe (losing wonder and appreciation)

Isolation

Living only for the future

Blaming others

Excessive control

Criticism and constant complaining

Being mentally absent from the present

Exaggerating problems

Comparing your life to curated social media images

Numbing yourself with technology

Victim mentality

Neglecting personal goals

Suppressing emotions

The Wellbeing Cycle

Gratitude improves sleep

Better sleep reduces pain

Reduced pain improves mood

Improved mood lowers anxiety

Lower anxiety increases overall happiness
➡ Everything is interconnected.

Daily Habits That Boost Wellbeing

Express gratitude regularly.

Label negative emotions to reduce their power.

Make decisions proactively — action feels empowering.

Get high-quality sleep.

Help others and lend a hand.

Stay connected to your emotions.

Understand the power of physical touch and connection.

Slow down and appreciate life’s small pleasures.

Surround yourself with supportive people.

How to Increase Happiness
Mindset Shifts

Overcome impact bias (the belief that future events alone will make you happy).

Make a conscious effort to be happy.

Focus only on what you can control.

Believe the best is yet to come.

Stay positive and practice self-compassion.

Learn to genuinely love yourself.

Key Insight:
Action is the antidote to fear. Confidence grows by repeatedly proving to yourself that you can move forward despite fear, expanding your comfort zone and strengthening self-trust.

Core Philosophy: “Fear is an invitation.”
It highlights areas where growth is needed and where action will create transformation.

Perfectionism and overthinking are fear-driven behaviors that must be replaced with satisficing choosing progress over perfection and accepting discomfort as part of life.

Fear should be approached with awareness, compassion, and curiosity. Rather than resisting it, use fear as a signal pointing toward what truly matters to you.

Core Philosophy: “Fear is an invitation.”
It highlights areas where growth is needed and where action will create transformation.

Confidence is not built by eliminating fear, but by moving through it. The fears worth confronting are those that block your potential, relationships, and purposeful goals.

Avoidance brings short-term relief but long-term regret, while courageous action leads to freedom and personal expansion.

Chapter 4: Fear – Key Takeaways

Fear is a natural response, but it often traps people in comfort zones and prevents them from pursuing meaningful challenges and growth.

The book introduces the shift from a “safety police” mindset (comfort and avoidance) to an “owner stance” taking full responsibility for your emotions, choices, and direction in life.

The truth is, fear is normal for everyone—but confident people take action anyway and see fear as an indicator for growth, not a reason to stop.​

Action, not “waiting for more confidence,” is the only way to become more confident; hesitation fuels fear, but action builds momentum

Chapter 3: Stories
Limiting stories about who you are and what you can do shape your confidence and sense of identity.​​

The book teaches you to reframe and rewrite these stories to foster stronger self-belief and to support personal growth.​​

Confidence is built by challenging these internal narratives and acting even when you feel afraid or uncertain.​​

Common Types of Safety Police

The Worrier
Exaggerates potential risks and discourages action to avoid failure or embarrassment

The Perfectionist
Demands flawless performance, creating procrastination and constant dissatisfaction

The OverAchiever
Pushes relentless productivity and ties self-worth to constant achievement

The Controller
Attempts to control outcomes and perceptions, leading to anxiety and overthinkin

Dr. Aziz Gazipura describes “safety police” as inner voices that aim to protect us from discomfort, risk, and vulnerability. While originally formed as emotional survival mechanisms, they often limit growth and keep us stuck in adulthood.

These voices are not harmful by nature, but outdated and overly cautious.

The key is to recognize your common excuses and ask: What action can I take despite them?

Confidence grows through accountability and consistent action.

Action step: Identify your top three excuses and take action anyway.

Excuses are self-created justifications rooted in fear that prevent action, such as “I’m not good enough” or “Someone else is better.”

They often involve blaming circumstances or the past, keeping us stuck and powerless.

9 toxic types:
- Gossipers
- Victims
- Arrogant
- Envious
- Manipulators
- Energy vampires (“dementors”)
- Temperamental
- Twisted
- Judgmental

How to protect yourself:
- Set clear limits
- Pick your battles
- Stay emotionally aware
- Rise above bait
- Establish boundaries
- Focus on solutions, not problems
- Remember past behavior; document patterns
- Lean on your support system

- Watch feet: orientation shows interest

Neutralize toxic people:
- Reality distorters
- Emotional drains
- Guilt-trippers
- Perpetual victims
- Words ≠ actions
- Too much, too soon
- Over-help, then martyr
- Chronic one-uppers
- Push your buttons

- Listen fully; quiet your inner monologue
- Keep a few stories/icebreakers ready
- Use open body language (visible palms, uncrossed arms)
- Notice who people look at when laughing—signals closeness
- Use strategic pauses; silence invites depth
- Nod and reflect back to encourage agreement
- Leave a thread unfinished to be memorable (Zeigarnik effect)
- Ask for small favors to build affinity (Ben Franklin effect)

Forming strong connections:
- Make a strong first impression
- Go beyond small talk early
- Ask thoughtful, open-ended questions
- Be curious; learn from them
- Make vulnerability feel safe
- Look for the good in them
- Don’t compete or one-up

Make yourself likable:
- Ask questions
- Put away your phone
- Use people’s names
- Smile
- Don’t seek attention
- Respect personal boundaries
- Follow the platinum rule (focus on the other person)
- Balance passion with fun

Unlikable habits:
- Humble-bragging
- Name-dropping
- Gossiping
- Emotional hijacking
- Closed-mindedness
- Oversharing too soon
- Oversharing on social media

Increasing productivity :
- Minimize chores
- Exercise
- Pursue your passion
- Spend quality time with friends.
-Schedule micro adventures.
-Designate morning time as me time
-Prepare for upcoming weekend.

Beating stress:
- Practice gratitude
- Stay positive
- Avoid “what if” thinking
- Unplug from tech regularly
- Limit caffeine
- Prioritize sleep
- Reframe challenges
- Set boundaries; say no
- Avoid toxic people
- Let go of grudges
- Practice mindfulness
- Plan and structure free time