Jade Smith > Recent Status Updates

Already crying….

I have to think that while I may exist in other universes, none is as good as this.

The world is splitting further and further into an infinite number of parallel universes where everything that could happen is happening. It is entirely possible that every time we make a decision, there is a version of us out there somewhere who made a different choice.

That’s what you do when you want something. You don’t look for reasons why it won’t work. You look for reasons why it will. So I’m searching, I’m digging, for ways to make it happen.

But it is certainly striking. And I’m learning not to read too much into good things. I’m learning just to appreciate the good while you have it in your sites. Not to worry so much what it all means and what will happen next.

And at that moment, I realize that if I have taken away a fraction of her pain, then I have more purpose than I have ever known.

You can only forgive yourself for the mistakes you made in the past once you know you’ll never make them again.

I made a mistake. And that mistake is part of what has led me to this moment. And while I need to regret nor condone, what I did, I have learned from it.

We have to face those consequences head on, for better or worse. We don’t get to erase them just by saying, we didn’t mean to. Fate or not, our lives are still the results of our choices. I’m starting to think that when we don’t own them, we don’t own ourselves.

It doesn’t matter if we don’t mean to do the things we do. It doesn’t matter if it was an accident or a mistake. It doesn’t even matter if we think this is all up to fate. Because regardless of our destiny, we still have to answer for our actions.

There are a lot of people out there who find the person they believe they are supposed to be with, and it doesn’t work out because they have other things they have to do, and instead of being a liar and running from their responsibilities, they act like adults and do the right thing.

I think as long as you’re happy and you’re doing something good with your life, it really doesn’t matter whether you went out and found the perfect thing or you chose what you knew you could make work for you.

Import of loving someone, part of being the recipient of trust, is telling me the truth, even when it’s awful.

We can both just hate them for as long as we do, and then one day, when we feel stronger, we’ll probably forgive them for being imperfect, for doing a terrible thing. One day, sooner than you think, I bet we’ll go so far as to wish them the best and not give them another thought, because we’ll have moved on with our lives. But you don’t have to believe that right now. You can just hate him.

I want to try to do something myself, knowing that when I have nothing left, someone will take me the rest out of the way.

“You think too much,” he says. “That’s your problem. You’re trying too hard to find the perfect answer when “an answer” will do.

Believing in fate is like living on cruise control.

Time means nothing. Never is that more clear than in a hospital bed.

Yes, talking about how broke and unprepared for life I am makes me a little uncomfortable. But who on this planet, when asked directly if they are uncomfortable, admit they are? It’s an impossible question. It forces you to make the other person feel better about invading your personal space.

From experience, I can tell you that if you go around trying to figure out what’s fair in life or whether you deserve something or not, that’s a rabbit hole that is hard to climb out of.

Life is long and full of an infinite number of decisions. I have to think that the small ones don’t matter, that I’ll end up where I need to end up no matter what I do. My fate will find me.

Even after I got over him, I was never able to extinguish the fire completely as if it’s a pilot light that will remain small and controlled very much alive.

If words were things, I would have rushed to plug them out of the air and put them back in my mouth.

Why do we do this? Why do we undervalue things when we have them? Why is it only on the verge of losing something that we see how much we need it?

Maybe it doesn’t matter if you need someone during the everyday moments of your life. Maybe what matters is that when you need someone, they are the one you need. Maybe needing someone isn’t about not being able to do it without them. Maybe needing someone about it being easier if they are by your side.