Helen > Recent Status Updates

My second favourite couple in the series, for sure.




Spoilers:

Still, plot threads I thought were going somewhere in this book that just didn’t:

1. Kyle’s unrequited crush on Kip.
2. Kyle and his family. I thought there would be some change to their relationship, if not a confrontation, by the end of the book.
3. Eric bottoming. They both talked about how much they wanted to do it!

You usually shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. This one you absolutely can.

From the authors dedication; ‘I grew up reading bodice-rippers in the ’80s, and this book is my loving homage to those deliciously tropey tales of pirates, virgins, and swashbuckling on the high seas.’

That’s exactly what it’s been so far. 🏴‍☠️ ❤️

‘(4) Bring up irrelevant issues as frequently as possible.
(a) Give lengthy and incomprehensible explanations when questioned.
(i) Cry and sob hysterically at every occasion, especially when confronted by government clerks.’

I think I may be a born saboteur.

‘Anyone can break up a showing of an enemy propaganda film by putting two or three dozen large moths in a paper bag. Take the bag to the movies with you, put it on the floor in an empty section of the theater as you go in and leave it open. The moths will fly out and climb into the projector beam, so that the film will be obscured by fluttering shadows.’

This suggestion may bump this up a star.

“For most of my young life, my dad was the president of Restaurant Associates, a massive restaurant company that, over time, has been responsible for everything from corner coffee shops and corporate cafeterias to fine-dining establishments like the Rainbow Room—and the Four Seasons “

I’m starting to have suspicions about how the author came to run the “best restaurant in the world”.

Anytime it looked like some dramatic tension was forming it was quickly snapped. Also, so many potentially dramatic scenes are happening just off-page in these goddamn books!

Guess what I just watched?

(I actually put off watching it for too long because, cheesy as it is, I love this book. I was surprised how faithful the show was. Down to pretty explicit sex scenes and most of the dialogue lifted directly off the page.)

Look, Aunty Helen’s doing a lot of Christmas reading aloud and I think it counts.

If you want a self-help book that will “help you conquer your mobile phone addiction” with a bright yellow cover (with blue and white elements!) – I recommend Make Time by Jake Knapp & John Zeratsky. I found it more informative and less aggravating than this book.

And I realise that most self-help use portmanteaus to attempt to distinguish itself but; “cellucination”, “phast”, “phub”? 🤢

I've been reading the Sarah's Scribbles web comics for years. This collection has most of my favourites.

I haven’t read this book in a while; it’s not really holding up.

What I really liked was Lady LeJean, and there’s not enough of her.

Some of this felt like it was going too hard into appealling to nature (a thing is good because it is natural and nature is good).

But I enjoyed it overall.

This was cute and fun.

I do wish the new hockey team names were better. I suppose this reflects real life more, (I am endlessly vexed and perplexed that Ottawa are not the Otters) but it feel like a missed opportunity.

Much like Ottawa’s real name. {)They could have been the Sen-Otters, just put the helm onto a little semiaquatic, mammal cartoon. You could have had it all, or at least a little fun.)

I realise finding real life hockey duo equivalents to the romantic leads in books like this may only be interesting/useful/fun for me.

That said, this one has notes of Tyson Barrie/Gabriel Landeskog, perhaps with subtle hints of Tyler Seguin/Jamie Benn.

‘ Lean in and lie back.’

‘You should have got into bed.’

Holy fuck.

I get why they tried to silence SWW so hard they Streisand effect-ed themselves now.

‘I wonder, just for a moment, if Big Bird is behind this.’

This line is somehow even better in context.

I'm vacillating between four or five stars on this and I may change the rating later.

I do feel like the book lost steam towards the end.

But today I had to spend time that I will never get back turning off Gemini AI in Gmail; as it now automatically scans, reads and analyses every email, attachment and PM received. It is, of course, opt out; not opt in.

ENSHITTIFCATION IS FUCKING EVERYWHERE AND IT NEVER STOPS.

Look.

I'm not above some trashy fantasy romance. But this is too immature to be interesting and too bleak to be fun.

Most importantly, the sexual/romantic tension is non-existent.

Maggie Smith, did someone force you to write this?

If you don’t want to tell the Reader any details and keep writing around the subject, why release it to the public?

I can’t take any more of this.