Monica > Recent Status Updates

Pride is an ugly, ugly thing when used against someone. Like most people in his church, he would follow his fucking pride right off a cliff if it meant he saved face. These people are psychotic, single-minded, and they don’t see anything wrong with something like this–as long as God is on their side. It’s why countries go to war. It’s why politicians win entire elections. It’s why people kill.

Damon- My whole body swells with happiness, and I punch the air a couple of times before opening the bathroom door and jogging down the stairs. I’m going to find her, kiss her, and never let her go. I’m going to make her breakfast every morning, and hold her hair back if she’s sick. I know the other guys are going to be just as excited, too.

“Oh my God,” Lennon says, laughing and bending over the table. I stare at the flannel material. “Is this a onesie?” I ask, standing up & holding it up to my body. “How did you find one my size?” Damon asks, slapping his knee and cackling. Jude smiles, less enthused than the three of us. My throat burns with laughter when I think of Jude Vanderbilt in a flannel onesie. “I love it,” Lennon says,

Jude- Neither of them said anything. So I let it go. I let you go. But over the years, if you came up, we’d all get that same look. Do you know why?” She’s watching me intensely now, sniffing every few seconds from the cold and her emotions. “Because we all understood that it wasn’t your fault. Because somehow, somewhere, our souls didn’t want to blame you.

“Let’s fucking knock you up.” I grin, my stomach swooping with how happy he looks. “Really?” He finishes his coffee and sets it down. “Hell yeah.” He cocks his head. “Call your doctor tomorrow.” “Why?” I ask, my hands shaking slightly. “Because she’s going to take your IUD out… or we will.”

I learned about a month in that Damon wears a retainer to sleep, and that Silas spends a solid thirty minutes in the bathroom every morning. Even gods take shits. And Jude has nightmares—something we’ve all gotten used to. He tosses and turns, yelling into the pitch darkness until one of us cuddles up against him.

“I think your… friends… are a lot like your father. Very protective.” “They’re great men. Smart, talented, funny…” She smiles again and nods. “I can tell they love you.”

“You need to find someone who cherishes the real you–the person you keep to yourself. The good, the bad, the ugly. The monster we all keep hidden. Find someone who sees that and doesn’t cower or hide, but instead, offers you a pedestal to stand on.”

I wrap my arms around Jude, and Silas wraps his arms around me. I feel Damon wrap his arms around Silas. This. I could stay like this forever. Closing my eyes, I smile as we all fall asleep together.

“It made me realize that I want you, Lennon.All of you. I’m so fucking in love with you.I want to get married and have babies with you–” I open my mouth to respond to his declaration, my eyes watering again, but he continues. “I know. You can’t marry three different men.You know what I mean. Some sort of civil ceremony.No laws, just a celebration of our commitment to each other.You, me, Silas, & Damon.”

“The whole time I was in the chapel, I was going in & out of consciousness. I just kept thinking… what if I never see Lennon again?”“Jude–” He stops me with a quick, but no less treasuring kiss.“Don’t get me wrong. It made me sad about Silas and Damon too. They’re like brothers to me–they’re my partners in life. You all are.But something about you…” he trails off, kissing the top of my head.

“Don’t cry for me, princess. I promise I’ll be able to use this hand on you soon.” I burst out laughing. “There’s the Jude I know and love.” The air in the room intensifies then, and I look between Silas and Damon. “I love him–and I love you both.” I release a long, slow breath. “There. I said it.” Damon is the first one to move, and he pulls me into a tight hug. “We love you, Lennon.”

“Samuel,” Jude grits out. Damon growls, and Silas doesn’t let go of my hand. “Hello, Samuel,” Silas says slowly. His voice is cool and collected. I glance down at Liam, who is gripping his arm and looking up at Samuel with what I assume is real terror. Samuel fucking Kent. He never disappeared–he’s been here ever since.

Silas goes down first, followed by Liam, and then Damon, who looks back at me every few seconds. I try not to roll my eyes. Once we get down into the chapel, my stomach sinks and roils. The first thing I see is all the blood on the floor. I cup my mouth with my hand, holding back a sob. Jude is here. And he’s nailed to the cross.

“If anything happens to any of you,” Damon starts. He sighs, rubbing his mouth. “Whoever did this is going to pay.” “I know,” I whisper. “They better be ready for our wrath. Welcome to the dark side of Savage Ink, motherfuckers.” I mean it as a joke, and when I look over at Damon briefly, his eyes are shining with pride, and Damon Brooks is crying right now.

“Who the hell is doing this if it’s not Liam?” I whisper, my rapid breathing not calming down. Damon shrugs. He places a warm hand on my knee. “We should hold back, let Silas and Liam check out the situation inside–” I chuckle, my voice a lot crueler than I intend it to be. “Absolutely not.” “Lennon,” Damon warns, gripping my flesh. “We don’t know who’s in there.”

“What is this?” he asks, handing the phone back. “Is this a joke?” Lennon takes a step back. “You tell me. You posted it.” “No, darling. I’ve never seen that post, or that account.” Lennon scowls up at Liam, not believing him, and I take a step forward. “Stop fucking with us,” I retort, baring my teeth at Liam. He shakes his head.

I decided not to let him in on our plan with Jude going undercover. With a new baby to care for, it didn’t feel right to drag him into this. Though I know if he finds out, he’s going to skin me alive. He may be my younger brother, but he’s just as big as me, and probably stronger, considering he runs like twelve miles a day.

She makes a noise but continues walking forward. Damon sidles up to my side, chuckling, as Lennon strides ahead of us. “I told you she was going to be pissed,” he says, amusement in his voice. I smile. “Yeah, well, why the hell she would want to do this alone is beyond me.” “Imagine if we didn’t find her on time… she would’ve given Liam a run for his money.”

A shiver works down my spine. “Silas, I had no idea. Do the guys know?” Silas nods against my head. “I told them right after it happened.” Their bond has been strong since he was ten, strong enough to confide in each other about something like that. Strong enough to love each other in more ways than one. Strong enough for them to share me. I squeeze Silas tighter. How did I get so lucky?

“Tell me about Samuel Kent,” I growl. “There’s something you’re not telling m–” “He molested me.” My blood cools, & I feel my stomach begin to roll with nausea. “What?” Silas rubs his face with his hands. “I was ten.Samuel was over, & it… happened. I can’t go into detail, Lennon, because I’m still trying to process it–” I lunge forward & pull him into a hug. “I’m so, so sorry.”

I try calling Jude a million times, and each time, it goes to voicemail. I don’t even let myself think about the worst-case scenario–after all, a world without Jude Vanderbilt feels empty and hollow. I need him. I love him. Nothing bad can happen to him.

My breathing turns ragged, and Silas pulls me into his chest. “Hey, it’s okay. We’re going to find him. He could walk through the front door at any minute.” “He’d get a kick out of us being so worried.” Damon chuckles. I force myself to laugh, but inside, I feel sick.

“Where is Jude?” I demand. My eyes flick between each of their somber faces. “He didn’t come home,” Damon explains. Sighing, he stands and walks over to me. “We think he’s still at the meeting with the Church leadership, but he turned his phone off.” Or someone else did.

“That’s never happened before,” I say, alluding to the way I rejected him and completely sprayed him. “Yes, it has,” he answers, kissing the tip of my nose. “In the shop. The night Jude was inside of you. There have been other times, too, but I don’t think you notice.”

Suddenly, he places a firm hand on my ass, stopping me from moving. “Stop doing that, Lennon, unless you want me to rip these panties right off you.” “And if I do?” I taunt, knowing I’m pushing his buttons. “I came here to sleep,” he growls. “And to cuddle.” I snort. “To cuddle?!”

“Be careful tomorrow,” I plead. I haven’t stopped thinking about it. Jude brushes my cheek with the pad of his thumb. “I’ll be back before breakfast, princess.” He gives me a soft kiss, and then he’s gone, and I’m left with the same empty, uneasy feeling as earlier today.

Because Ash is right–one day, the sex will stop being new, and the excitement of being with three guys will wear off. And where will that leave us? Would we be strong enough to withstand that?

“I think I fucking love you, Lennon Rose,” Jude says with his gaze locked onto mine, his voice softer than I’ve ever heard it. I swallow thickly, suddenly emotional. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel the same way–didn’t share some sort of strange bond with Jude Vanderbilt.

I swear and buck and hold the glass out as the server takes it, setting it down. “Is she alright?” he asks, looking thoroughly concerned, tilting his head. I am gasping for air, glaring at Jude, when he has the audacity to laugh. “She just really, really likes champagne.”