Lots of flowery language that distracts the reader from the scene. As a reader, when a character A screams, then character B whispers, then murmurs, then character A hisses in response, I begin to lose focus on what’s important and instead try to comprehend why the hell the characters are acting like that because it’s not realistic. There’s also inconsistencies with some details in scenes.
— 18 hours, 23 min ago
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