allie > Recent Status Updates

“she looked into my eyes and made me feel rapture, and that night in giving of herself, she gave me a baby.” oh my shayla finally maturing kinda

“‘to evelyn,’ she said, lifting her glass in the air. ‘who has lit up every goddamn room she ever walked into. and who, day after day, makes us feel like we’re living in a dream.’”
this chapter was the part in which i decided i should marry a gay man and have a child with him instead of accepting i was gay & marrying a woman. omg this traumatic ass re-reading experience.

“and i started crying when i realized those men were willing to fight for a dream i had never even allowed myself to envision.” girl closes book

“you don’t spend years pining away for one voice not to notice it when it finally appears.” no and like must i reiterate that they had no contact for FIVE YEARSSSSSS

i read the bell jar soooo long ago that whenever people would be like “sylvia plath was racist” i couldn’t even remember but oh wow!

“‘but i don’t want to continue to have affairs my entire life. i want to be with someone i’m in love with. someone who’s in love with me.’”
IM GONNA BE SICKKKKK SHE WAS 25 BRO

“‘she doesn’t love him?’”
i do want to study this woman’s brain a bit btw like celia told her about 60 times she’s a lesbian and she’s still worried that she wants john braverman like i get the yearning but she was practically projectile vomiting at the thought of a man at any given moment

it’s so crazy to finally be reading this after it’s been on my tbr for 7 years

“here i was, just turned twenty-five, already realizing that no amount would ever really be enough.”
evelyn was 25 rolling in dough, had met the love of her life & was on husband number 4 damn the kardashians were right abt me i really don’t wanna get off my ass and work these days

it’s just so poorly written

ok so this is bad

everyone seems to have very conflicting views on this author so i decided i needed to have an opinion too bc my opinion is obviously very important and highly coveted by the masses

wait this gag

“i had done it to me. i’d made the choice to be different from my true self.” you know i thought this book wouldn’t bring anything up for me like 6 years later but alas.

“‘and now that i don’t have her, and i have more money than i could ever use in this lifetime, and my name is cemented in hollywood history, and i know how hollow it is, i am kicking myself for every second i chose it over loving her proudly.’”

i’ve said it before but this book is 6x more painful when you realize evelyn had her plan in place from the moment she called monique (or before)

“‘don’t go around trying to pretend you’re different from me.’ ‘i am’ i said. ‘and you know that i am.’”

controversial opinion but i know everyone hates the biphobic lesbian trope but it makes sooo much sense for celia as a character that i don’t even care

“you have worked so hard for a life so grand. and now all you want are the smallest freedoms. the daily peace of loving plainly.” oh tragic yuri we love you